Page 121 of Fortunate Misfortune
“No!” I shout, shocked by the anger that slips out. On the tip of my tongue are words I have never been able to say. Betrayal I haven’t been able to express to either of my parents. “You’ve never been on my side. He’s so worried about his image, and you’ve always been ready and willing to help him push that agenda, even if it means letting your kids suffer. Instead of helping, you were silent. And you’ve stayed silent for years. You saw everything and did nothing. How is that right, Mom?”
The spacious room feels cramped as my words fill the empty space. The fury I’ve been sitting on for years is finally out, and even though I want to see exactly how my words affect her, I turn away and focus on the show playing silently on the television. Along with the feeling of satisfaction, guilt weasels its way into my heart.
“I know,” she finally croaks, her voice thick. The way my frustration cracks from the two words makes me pause, because that’s not what I was expecting. “I know, Kenneth. I wish I could go back to fix things with you and Keaton. I regret not showing up for you both every single day.”
I force myself to look at her. “Keaton? What are you talking about?”
For the first time, my composed mother looks distraught. “You don’t know?”
She grabs the photo album from the coffee table and drags her finger along a photo of Keaton. “Your father was so excited about Keaton joining the family business. His oldest child. Theo had such high expectations for him. Then Keaton came to me right before his college graduation. He said there were things he wanted to experience and do on his own. Things that didn’t include working for Gray Construction. All he wanted was a way out, and I did nothing to help him.”
My brain struggles to process this new information. Keaton didn’t want this life either? Why wouldn’t he say anything to me about it? He was the first person I called when I changed my major. Not because we were close, but because I hoped he would understand my struggles with not wanting to join the family business. Wanting something more for myself.
He never even called me back.
“Is that why he’s based out of state?” I ask.
She nods. “The least I could do was get him out of Bryan. I told your father it would be a good opportunity to expand the business. After that, Keaton stopped speaking to me.”
My heart breaks for my brother. I bet he’s a million times happier not having to be in town with our father, but he didn’t truly escape. He may be hundreds of miles away, but he’s still stuck under Theo Gray’s thumb.
“Is that what you came here to tell me?” I ask.
“Yes and no.” Pulling a piece of paper from her massive purse, she hands it over. “I can’t watch another one of my children go through this, so I struck a deal. Your father either lets you go and continues to take care of the lake for you and Nan, or I leave and ruin the family image.”
Disbelief slices through my chest as I open the letter, morphing into relief as I read the terms of their agreement. While there will be no contact, no financial help from my father for my education or career pursuits, and I’ll be on my own, Lake Anita will be safe from his threats.
“Mom this is…” I choke out. “Why?”
“A mother is supposed to protect her children, and I didn’t do that. I spent so much of your childhood silent because I believed that it would be easier that way for everyone. I see now that hiding away only caused more harm for you all. And I know I’m too late, years late, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you and Keaton. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I never will, but I truly am sorry.” She reaches for my hand, and I let her take it. “I’m so proud of you, Kenneth. You’ll forever be my bright boy, always fighting back. I’ll be in your corner for anything you need moving forward.”
A warmth spreads through me at her words. These are words I never thought I’d hear. Words that make me feel like there’s a chance to still have a parent and chase my own dreams. Squeezing her hand, I feel like a kid again. But instead of staring up at my mother and trying to figure out whose team she is on, I’m sure that she’s truly on mine.
“Won’t that violate the agreement?” I ask. “Talking to me.”
She points at a piece of text. “Nope. Ellen Gray, mother, may continue a relationship with her son, Kenneth Gray, as long as he is agreeable.”
It feels foreign to laugh with my mom, but damn it feels good. After years of working in the legal department for Gray Construction, writing and reviewing contracts, she knew exactly how to make sure she was protected.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Mom?”
She stands. “I love your father, but I’ve spent too much time watching my family be ripped apart over unrealistic expectations and my inability to speak up. The only thing that matters to me is my children’s happiness. You being happy is enough. Are you happy, Kenneth?”
I smile. “I really am.”
Standing, I link our arms as we head to find Nan. I’ll invite her to lunch at Sunshine Junction, and maybe Dr. Hope will let us take Nan too. I’m not ready for my afternoon with either of them to end, and I’m sure Nan and my mother have a lot to catch up on.
“Now tell me all about Mallory. I need to know about the beautiful woman who went off on your father. I like her already.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Today’s the day.
The sheet of paper inside this envelope will tell me if all my hard work was enough.
If I was enough. Smart enough. Determined enough.
The click of my heels against the hard floor gains Winry’s attention, watching me pace back and forth across my bedroom as I lift the envelope up to the light. I move to the window, but it’s too cloudy to give me a hint at what’s inside. Maybe I could steam it open and read the results. Kenneth would be none the wiser, and I would be able to go into the night knowing.
