Page 30 of Fortunate Misfortune
But that’s not why I’m mad at myself. What right did I have to say he has no issues or worries in life? Sure, I can think that all I want. Saying it out loud crossed a line. And without hesitation, he forgave me.
Even though I didn’t deserve it.
“Hey, Shay.”
“Yeah?”
“Am I…” I clear my throat, trying to rid the shakiness from my voice. “Am I fun?”
“Fun?” she asks, her voice pitching higher.
It’s too late to backtrack now. “Yeah. Like fun to be around. How Kenneth was tonight. I know I’m intense when it comes to trivia, and soccer, and school, and life in general.”
The only noise in the bathroom is the buzz of the light as I wait for my best friend to speak. To tell me the truth like she always does. That I’ve never been fun. Always a burden. Too stressed and too rigid.
Too much.
Interlocking her fingers with mine, I’m reminded why Shay is my person.
“You are the most fun person I know. I mean, all I do is laugh when I’m with you. Our time together is special. Whether it’s listening to the oldies or making grilled cheese with you at nine in the morning because you bought a new cookbook. Intense doesn’t begin to describe you. You’re a rubber band pulled so tight that I’m worried you’ll snap. And that’s just who you are. You’re stressed, bubbly, hilarious, complex, and the best person I know. Sure, you work yourself too hard, but I’ve never questioned if Mallory Edwards is fun because I know you are.”
I’m close to tears when she presses our foreheads together to slow my breathing. “I’m sorry he won tonight,” Shay continues. “You’ll get him next time.”
I groan. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this semester. He’s insufferable, Shay.”
“And hot. Don’t forget hot.”
“Don’t make me get Cade.”
We laugh, our foreheads still pressed together. Neither of us flinch when the restroom door swings open and clangs against the wall. We both know who it is by the heeled boots clicking against the tile.
“Ugh!” Adri stomps her foot. “Why can’t you love me like that, Jo? It’s not fair!”
Adri tries in vain to pull Jo’s forehead to hers. Without much effort, Jo keeps Adri at a safe distance. Keeping the amusement off her face proves to be more difficult.
“You’re so clingy,” Jo groans. “Don’t make me pawn you off on the Hulk from earlier.”
Adri smooths her dress and holds her hand out to me. “Fine, but I’m over all this lovey-dovey nonsense. Kenneth is buying the last round. He asked us to come get you, Cap, so get moving.”
We exit the bathroom in a line. Adri’s hand in mine, my hand in Shay’s, and Shay’s in Jo’s.
“I love us,” Adri sings.
Me too.
Chapter Ten
“Swimmers take your marks.”
At Coach Brown’s command, I bend down, hooking my fingers around the block. Squeezing my toes around the edge, I stare out over the water. It’s calm and still, but it won’t be for much longer. The shrill shriek of a whistle rings out, and I leap forward, palm over hand, elbows locked, and my head tucked between my arms. I pierce the cool, blue surface and welcome the comforting silence.
Keeping my head neutral, I kick hard and find my groove. The pace I’ve chosen seems safe. Fast enough to keep Coach from yelling at me, but not so fast that I’ll feel like jelly.
Stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe. Stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe.
When I make it to the opposite end of the pool, I flip and push hard off the wall. Every time I come up for a breath, I listen closely to Coach Brown’s reminders to keep heads neutral, relax the hands, and smooth out each stroke. I assess my form, relieved to know he’s not yelling at me.
For once.
