Page 34 of In a Rake's Embrace
Agatha blinked, a strange, twisting feeling unfurling in her chest. “You … wanted to experience Lord Radbourne?”
Bea tilted her head, a mischievous glint in her eyes, but her expression softened as she took in Agatha’s reaction. She grabbed Agatha’s arm, pulling her into her room before anyone could overhear. Once inside, she shut the door firmly behind them.
“What is it, Bea? Why did you come into my chamber?” Agatha asked, attempting to shrug off the growing discomfort. She winced as she moved toward her bed, a reminder of her lesson’s intensity.
Bea’s eyes narrowed in concern. “Did he … well, did Lord Radbourne take you? Is that why you are sore?”
Agatha groaned and sank onto the bed, burying her face in her hands. “How am I ever to conquer these wretched blushes?”
Bea laughed and climbed onto the bed beside her. “Maybe he didn’t take you, considering you’re still able to sit without flinching.”
Agatha gasped, propping herself up on one elbow. “And what does that mean?”
Bea wrinkled her nose playfully. “Hettie once mentioned that he’s, well … rather well-endowed.”
“Well-endowed? What does that even mean?”
“You know,” Bea lowered her voice conspiratorially, “his … plug-tail is thick.”
“What in God’s name is a plug-tail?”
She made a sweeping motion over her mons. “You know, the earl’s manroot. The things that go into our … quim.”
“Manroot?” Agatha burst into laughter. “Plug-tail?The earl called it something else entirely, thank heavens. I’d have died if he’d used that term!”
Bea’s laughter joined hers. After a moment, her friend’s expression grew thoughtful. “You were jealous, weren’t you? When I mentioned about experiencing Lord Radbourne?”
Agatha hesitated, a lump forming in her throat. Was that the feeling that hooked inside her chest? The truth settled heavily within her. She nodded slowly. “Yes … I suppose I was. I feel rather silly. The earl is only my tutor.”
Bea regarded her warmly. “It happens. I do not think feelings are things we can control. Ellen says we can.”
Agatha’s curiosity flickered to life. “Did you ever feel that way when Ellen was with Mr. Armstrong? Were you ever jealous?”
“At first, I was utterly seething with it,” Bea admitted, her cheeks flushing as she giggled. “I even cried, which seems excessively silly in hindsight. Ellen caught me, and that’s when she confessed that Mr. Armstrong only ever plays chess with her when they meet. He’s kept up this entire charade to ensure no one suspects how truly taken he is with me.”
“Oh,” Agatha murmured. “He goes to such lengths to hide his feelings?”
“Yes,” Bea sighed, her gaze softening. “I asked him once why he bothers with the ruse, and he admitted he doesn’t wantanyone—especially Madam Rebecca—to know the depth of his affection.”
Agatha hesitated, a pang of something unresolved tightening in her chest. “What if … what if he bids for me?”
Bea’s eyes widened in surprise. “I hadn’t thought of that. You are very beautiful. There is nothing I can do about it if he does. It would hurt, but I must understand that Bran … Mr. Armstrong is not mine.”
Agatha reached for Bea’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “If he bids and wins, I will not let you down. Once we’re alone, I would suggest a quiet chess game to let Mr. Armstrong know I’m aware of his secret. He’d understand immediately that I know, and to preserve his ruse, he’ll likely not expect anything of me.”
Bea chuckled, shaking her head. “Devious. I see Lord Radbourne’s influence on you.”
They laughed and chatted, lingering longer in each other’s company before Bea excused herself. Taking her friend’s advice to heart, Agatha rang for a heated bath. Once it was prepared, she entered the large copper tub, savoring the warmth as she soaked.
The sore feeling instantly lessened, and she relaxed, easing the tension from the day. Nearly an hour later, she curled beneath the covers of the bed, her mind drifting to the earl and the wicked pleasure he’d introduced her to. A shiver skated down her spine, though she fought the undeniable pull he seemed to have on her.
I must not allow myself to become entangled, she silently whispered, her heart aching with the unwelcome memory of jealousy that had bloomed earlier.
CHAPTER 14
It was illogical, but Agatha found herself craving a kind of revenge. She couldn’t comprehend how her own body had yielded to such excruciating pleasure—pleasure that left her trembling, vulnerable, and still aching for fulfillment after a night of restless sleep. What stung even more was the knowledge that the earl had maintained his control while she had been utterly undone. It gnawed at her, the thought that he had reasserted command over himself while she had spiraled into sensation. She wanted to unravel him the way he had undone her.
“Let me see if we understand,” Ellen said slowly, sharing a conspiratorial glance with Bea. “You want to know how to drive Lord Radbourne to the brink, to make him suffer with pleasure?”
