Page 23 of Cross Check My Heart
I laugh awkwardly, forcing myself to not ramble on as well.
“I should be okay, Paige lives like ten minutes away.” He nods but still pushes on.
“Well, if you change your mind, just let me know.”
After a few minutes we both gather our things to head out. When we get to the street, my dad pauses as he looks to where he parked his car. After a heavy sigh, he turns to me.
“Thank you for coming out with me tonight. I just…” He fiddles with his keys in his hand while he thinks over his words. “Thank you.”
I watch him for a moment, thinking over what to say.
“I appreciate you taking me out tonight, although I’m still waiting for some big shoe to drop and for you to say there’s something wrong.” I almost regret my words as he looks away. Maybe if he had been around, I would have actually apologized, but the truth of the matter is that he chose work over family. He sent child support, and we never went hungry thanks to what he sent our mother every month, but most of the time we would have preferred it if he was there.
After a tense moment of him staring off, he finally speaks.
“I should have been there for you and your brothers. This job, hell, being in the sports industry itself, takes up a lot of time and attention. You all suffered because of the choices I made. Your mom and I were so young when we got married, had you guys, and on top of all of that I was building my career. At the time, I didn’t think twice about it but seeing you, all grown up and successful…” He trails off for a moment, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. If you feel up to it, eventually, I would like to keep getting to know you.Ifyou want to.”
I can only stare at him. As a teenager, I used to imagine what I would say to him if given the chance to confront him abouthim leaving us. The imaginary conversation was usually a lot of yelling on my end, calling him a dead-beat and many other endless names for choosing hockey over us. Looking at him now though, wanting to be a part of my life if I let him, hits a piece of me that longs for a dad. After clearing my throat and thinking my words over, I give him a small nod.
“I’d like that.” Granted, there was still a lot we needed to talk through, but if he was willing to attempt to be a part of my life then I could meet him halfway.
He steps forward, smiling as if he’s thinking about hugging me, and says goodbye.
Dinner with him hadn’t been as hard as I had expected it to be. Unlike the conversation I knew was waiting for me back at the condo with Dom. Before I started seeing Cam, Paige and I had gone out to bars and parties hosted by the college sports teams quite frequently. Even though I tried to keep my last name to myself, there were some parties where it still came up. It was usually parties that the Hockey team attended. After one party at a frat house where some dude asked, very loudly, if I was that chick who’s related to James Matthews. Except he didn’t wait for me to confirm or deny, he just started talking non-stop about my dad. All I wanted was to become invisible.
Paige had found me being questioned by a couple guys, immediately told them to buzz off and dragged me out of there. Word spread about who my dad was between the teams and after a few more parties where people felt the need to interrogate me on my dad, I had made the decision to lay low and stop giving out my last name and avoid hockey players and all other athletes.
Which was why the watch party Friday night had been the first game I watched since freshman year, and why I didn’t recognize Dominik as an athlete. Hell, I’d been too distracted by hisintense looks and the way he made me feel to even think twice about why he was so built and perfectly toned.
Rounding the corner and heading toward my building, I shoot a text to Paige telling her to come over tomorrow night for pizza and drinks before dropping my phone in my purse. She had been working today during the press conference so there was no time to fill her in on Dom’s job.
Stepping onto the elevator and pushing the button to head up to my floor, a bit of dread begins creeping into the pit of my stomach. This past weekend was one of the best ones I’ve had in a long time. Dom was right when he said this weekend had been a breath of fresh air. The stress from the breakup, moving and adjusting to a new city had prevented me from enjoying myself.
The chime of a text alert had me fishing my phone back out of my bag as the elevator approached my floor. I assumed it would be Paige, the only other people who text me are my brothers and mom, but even that is a rare occurrence considering they all prefer to call. So, seeing Cam’s name has unease and anger coursing through me as the doors open for me to step off onto my floor.
Cameron:
I fucked up. Come home, we’ll get over this.
There is no hesitation or thinking over a response. I simply delete the message and shove my phone away. Him saying that he fucked up was probably the closest thing to anI’m sorrythat he will ever give, but it’s not enough. I left the fucking state so that my ending our relationship after he cheated on me wouldn’t be an inconvenience to his relationship withmyfamily. There was only so much I could give in to but forgiving him and taking him back was not on that list at all.
I’m so wrapped up in my own spiral of thoughts that I don’t notice Dominik waiting for me outside my door until I’mwalking right into his toned chest. If it weren’t for him catching me around the waist, I probably would have fallen on my ass. He doesn’t remove his hold on me even after he makes sure I’m steady on my feet. Tilting my head up to meet his concerned gaze, I let out an awkward laugh as I grip his biceps unsure of where else to put my hands.
“Sorry, guess I was a little too distracted. I didn’t even see you.” I motion to my door and raise an eyebrow in question. “How long have you been waiting out here?”
“Did something happen at dinner?” He asks, ignoring my question. It takes me longer than it should to figure out where his question came from, before I can answer he clarifies. “You said you were distracted, did something bad happen with your dad?”
There’s no controlling the blatant shock that courses through me at his concern. Shaking my head, I finally release his arms and move to step back forcing him to reluctantly let me go.
“No. Dinner was actually really good.” The way he still watched me closely made me fidget with my purse strap as I moved to open my door and felt the need to explain further.
“It’s nothing, just a stupid text that had me lost in my thoughts instead of paying attention to where I was going.” Pushing my door open, I turn back to him and repeat my question. “How long have you been waiting out here?”
He looks away, a faint blush appearing on his tanned skin as he grips the back of his neck. The muscles strain against the sleeves on his t-shirt, and he rubs his neck.
“Like five minutes. I figured since practice starts early tomorrow, that you and Coach wouldn’t be out that much longer.” Hearing him talk about my dad snaps me out of my appraisal of him. I clear my throat before turning into my condo, setting my purse on the table in the entryway and head to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Dom is silent as he follows mein, closing the door behind him. I stand with my back to him, clutching the sink for support as I voice what neither of us want to say.
“We can’t see each other again. At least, not like we saw each other this weekend.”
