Page 73 of Cross Check My Heart
I had just finished talking with the police, grateful that they let Dominik stay in the room and the nurse hovered at the door the whole time. It was easy enough to fill them in, the only thing that I was unsure how to answer was if I wanted to file charges against Cam. When I asked if I had to decide that now, they let me know that he was still checked in at the hospital as well.
Which is how I ended up standing outside his room trying to convince myself to go in. The officers and Dominik had assured me that the door would be open, and they would be right outsidethe entire time. I suck in a deep breath and give myself a mini peptalk before I finally open the door.
He’s sitting up in the center of the hospital bed with his head dropped and resting on his knees. There’s a part of me that wants to feel bad for him. It’s a very small part and I know it’s only because of the fact that at one point, I did love him. However, all the pain he’s caused me makes it easy to ignore that.
As the door hits the wall with an audible thud, Cam glances at me. He is about to drop his head back to his hands when his eyes snap to me. He looks rough, but from a quick glance at him, nothing appears broken.
No, apparently, I’m the one who gets all the bumps and bruises on top of the emotional pain.
“Lilly.” He says my name in disbelief and straightens up on the bed, swinging his legs over as if he’s going to stand up, I step back.
“There’s two police officers outside.” He sags back onto the bed and lets his head drop to hang between his shoulders.
“They asked me if I want to press charges against you and before I give them my answer, I needed to get something off my chest.”
I wait for him to look back at me, needing for him to fully understand just how much he’s fucked up. Whether he actuallylistensto what I have to say is out of my control, but I need to get this off my chest.
“It took me a long time to realize just how deeply you hurt me. Not only because you cheated, but because of how you treated me right from the start. I was so caught up in your charm that I didn’t realize just how much you were trying to stifle and change whoIwas. Who I am. Even outside of you tearing down my confidence and self-worth. For almost five years, I thought there was something wrong withme, both mentally and physically. Ithought my sex drive was low or broken, but it turns out, I just wasn’t attracted toyou.”
He visibly flinches and opens his mouth to say something, but I hold my hand up to silence him.
“I only have one thing I want answered, and after that, I’m walking out to tell them to file the charges and continue moving on with my life. Without you.”
I take a breath, letting my shoulders drop on my exhale as I watch him.
“Why? Why try this hard and react this way? You didn’t care this much about me when we were together, so why dive off the deep end and turn into this…crazed caveman?” He shakes his head and focuses on a spot on the wall in front of him. I wait for a minute, crossing my arms before sighing in defeat at his silence. When I turn away and am halfway to the door, he finally speaks.
“I didn’t think losing you would affect my life like it did. When you first left, it didn’t hit me full force that you were gone. Until the first time I saw your mom. She comforted and supported me like she always has, and I realized what we had. Not just you and me, but I think I loved your family more than us. But how could I keep your family if I wasn’t with you? Eventually, they would find out what I did and they wouldn’t look at me the same.” He sighs.
“I got it in my head that if I got you to come back with me, things would go back to normal, and everything would be fine. I fucked up, things got out of hand, and all I could focus on was getting you home and moving on.”
Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I can only sigh in response.
“I did move on.” I whisper as I turn to leave.
Dominik is leaning against the wall outside of the door, his eyes instantly finding mine as I step out. Sparing a glance at the one police officer, I nod.
“You can file the charges, do you need anything else from me or can I go home?”
“Go home and get some rest, Miss Matthews. We have your number and will contact you if and when we need something more from you.”
With that I face Dominik and close the distance between us. Falling into his embrace as he wraps his arms around me. After placing a kiss on top of my head, he turns us toward the elevators.
“Let’s go home, Sunshine.”
“Keep your eyes closed, Sunshine.”
“They are, Dom.” Her over dramatic sigh has me biting back a smile as I step away from her while swatting her ass. She jumps with a slight squeal, but still listens and keeps her eyes closed.
Last month, Lilly realized that every so often I would need to come back to my place to grab clothes or wash my hockey gear. She pointed out how silly it was that we were taking up two condos when we could just share one. Since I was basically at her place twenty-four seven, she had a point, so we had the ‘moving in together’ talk. We made sure that we were both on the same page with where our relationship was going. I already knew that she was it for me and I had no problem telling her that. Once we realized we were on the same page, we decided it was easier for me to move in with her since I had a lot less stuff.
That was also the day I started searching for a ring. With the start of the new season in three months, the thought of proposing around that time feels right. It also gives things between Lilly and her mom a couple more months of being on good terms. After Lilly got out of the hospital, she wasn’t going to tell her mom anything that happened with Cam in hopes of avoiding more tension. But we found out a couple days later that her dad didn’t have that same restraint.
James had called her mom and told her off for how she handled not only Lilly’s breakup with Cam, but also how she handled James leaving. Her dad came by and told her about the conversation, as well as the fact that her brothers had reached out wanting to set up a time to come see James and Lilly.
Meanwhile, Lilly waited another couple weeks before calling her mom. We were both surprised that she had let Lilly go so long without talking to her. But between James and her brothers, we assumed she finally got it through her head to give Lilly space before she pushed her too far. The two of them have talked weekly since then. It was very rough at first, but every time her mom started condescending her, Lilly would tell her to call her back when she was ready to treat her with decency. It’s been getting better, I’ve even been on a couple video calls withthem, so I’m hoping she doesn’t slip up and push Lilly away again.
Cam has since been arrested and charged with a list of crimes against Lilly. He was sentenced to seven years imprisonment, followed by two years probation.
