Page 25 of Until Tomorrow Comes
Last week, Jackson brought me into town for my first therapy appointment. I assumed going into the appointment that it would be the typical list of awkward introduction questions before I fumbled through telling her about why I was there. Only it wasn’t like that.
From the moment that I walked into Doctor Chloe Davis’s office, it felt nothing like a psychiatry office.
Jackson had escorted me to the door, opening it with a rare smile tugging at his lips. Before I could ask him if he knew her, I was distracted by a blur of black and brown running up to me. The floppy eared, sweetheart was a German Shepherd mix named Cocoa.
I spent the next hour with Cocoa at my side, silently demanding pets as Doctor Davis talked with me. She made it feel like a conversation, not a therapy appointment. She focused on asking about my time in Cape Sodus so far, how I met Jackson and how staying with him made me feel. But she managed to get me talking without feeling like I was being forced or judged.
She didn’t ask about Zack or my life in New York, she only focused on everything that has happened since getting away.
The one time it felt slightly uncomfortable was when she asked if I’d had any nightmares.
Since I already use the grounding method when fighting off a panic attack, where I focus on my surroundings using my five senses, she also suggested a few breathing exercises.
Considering I majored in psychology, Iknewall of this.
Yet it took being told by a stranger to remember them.
Life is funny like that sometimes.
Jackson shifts on the bed, but still doesn’t release me.
But…I’m not upset by it.
On the rare occasion that Zack cuddled with me, it always felt like the calm before the storm. Being held against him would keep me stuck in place, heart pounding and dread pooling like a million lead balls in my stomach. All while waiting for the unavoidable moment he would wake and burst the bubble.
Subconsciously I brace for the dread. But it never comes. And even when he sleepily snuggles closer, all I feel is content.
Which is what finally causes me to move.
I shouldn’t feel socontentthis soon after leaving Zack. And I definitely shouldn’t be feeling this way in the arms of my brother’s friend.
Slowly, I ease myself out of the bed, holding my breath when his arm slips away. When I turn around, Jackson has already pulled the pillow that was under my hip toward him to replace me.
I cover my mouth, trying to hide my chuckle.
His black gym shorts rest low on his hips, and even though his stomach is covered by the pillow, the muscles on his ribs make it easy to imagine how toned his abs must be. His grip tightens on the pillow, momentarily flexing his biceps and drawing my attention to his tattoo covered arms, both of which are full sleeves, and both designs are painted up his arms and wrap around his shoulders.
His brown hair is buzzed close to his scalp on the sides and a little longer on the top. Not enough to hang in his face, but enough to run his fingers through, which is something I’ve watched him do countless times over the last two weeks.
And now I’m being a creep.
I shake the thoughts away and tiptoe across the room to the bathroom, and quietly go through my morning routine.
While I know Jackson and I need to talk about last night, mostly so I can apologize for waking him, but to also thank him for calming me down. I’m not quite ready to disrupt how calm I’ve felt since waking up.
Instead, I sneak out of the bathroom, stealing one last glance of his gorgeous frame, before making my way downstairs to make some coffee.
10
Jackson
Warmth searing across my shoulder and face is what wakes me.
That and the foreign feeling of something soft pressed against my chest. Opening my eyes, the sunlight alone throws me off, since I am normally up well before the sun rises. I stare with furrowed brows at the nightstand that isn’t mine while my mind works to catch up with being awake.
I hadn’tmeantto fall asleep here last night.
I was only supposed to sit next to Kat long enough to help her fall back asleep without another nightmare. But with the waves crashing on the beach and Kat’s steady breathing, I closed my eyes, telling myself that I would rest for five minutes before heading back to my own bed.
