Page 8 of Until Tomorrow Comes
He studies me with furrowed brows but I don’t have the energy to worry about whether he believes me or not. Clearing his throat, Alan glances at the door.
“I should go let the nurse know you’re awake so they can check on you.” He moves to step away, and I reach for his hand, but my movements are so slow and uncoordinated that I miss. My arm falls limply, dangling over the side of the bed until Al takes my hand in his.
“Thank you.” My voice is barely above a whisper. Watching him silently stare at our hands intertwined, my body starts to tremble.
Finally, he shakes his head.
“There was a moment, after I found you, that I thought I lost you, Kat.” He whispers painfully.
As my brother’s eyes find mine, my breath catches in my throat and my heart shatters.
“I’m so sorry…” But the words die on my tongue.
The anger in my brother’s eyes suddenly blurs with the memory ofanotherset of furious eyes glaring at me.Zack’s eyes.
Impulsively my body seizes, but I don’t register the burning ache rolling through my body, or even the fact that I just jerked away from my own brother.
“Don’t you dare apologize,” Alan says firmly. “This is all on that asshole. Not. You.”
But all I see is a flash of Zack raising his fist.
“You’re fucking useless!”
His boots colliding with my ribs.
“You’re nothing without me, Kat!”
Gasping, I fight to get air in my lungs as my heart beats heavily. Blood pounds in my ears, drowning out all the other sounds surrounding me. No matter how fast I breathe, I can’t seem to stop the tightness that’s taking hold in my chest.
Clutching the hospital gown at my chest, my memories batter down on me and the incessant beeping becomes louder.
I shouldn’t have tried to leave.
Faintly, I hear Alan say my name, but my vision blurs just before the door bangs against the wall.
Hands reach for me. A sob breaks free as I try to yank my arm away from the hands I don’t recognize, but my muscles don’t obey. Blood pounds so quickly in my ears that it muffles the voices in the room, plunging me into a thick haze.
My hand twinges as a cool sensation spreads up my arm.
Somewhere through the fog clouding my mind, I hear a familiar, comforting voice. There’s a tender touch around my hand. I focus on that one spot of contact, latching onto it with everything I have, terrified my thundering heart might give out at any second.
I’m unsure of how much time passes while the haze lifts from my mind and my heart settles into a sluggish rhythm.
Somehow, I am able to focus on Alan, who’s watching me from across the room. With all my resolve, I attempt to use him as a barrier to protect me from my terrifying memories.
From the corner of my eye, I see the nurse reach for me again, and I tear my stare from Alan so that I can watch her movements. She runs a hand through my hair, holding my wrist and soothingly murmuring calming assurances. My lids tug low as my body turns heavy.
“It’s alright,” I hear her say as the blackness devours me once again. “You’re safe now.”
Safe.
***
The nurse is standing next to my bed when I awake, and I blink up at her in a groggy daze. My mind subconsciously focuses on tiny details, like the clicking of the tablet in her hand, or the concern in her furrowed brow, or even the disobedient strand of her brown curly hair that has fallen out of her messy braid. And even though she looks like she’s at the end of a long shift, there’s no hiding that she’s a beautiful woman. I force myself to focus on those details while trying to clear the heavy fog from my mind.
She glances up at my brother, who is watching her, almost as intently as me. However, after a couple sluggish heartbeats, his eyes meet mine, he shrinks back further and leans against the wall on the furthest side of the room.
For some reason, watching Alan attempt to make himself appear small and out of the way, reminds me of someone who is scared.
