Page 56 of Heartless Boss
She. Fucking. Knows.
And that thought alone scares the shit out of me because she can break me, and if she did, I’d still come back to her like a dog with its tail tucked between his legs.
I’m not the apology type of person, so that’s all she’s gonna get out of me. “As much as putting my dick through a grinder.”
Because I don’t give a fuck if she’s pissed off at me, I give her a quick peck on the lips, getting frosting on my mouth. I dart out my tongue to lick the frosting off my bottom lip, then I head to my office.
Chapter Eighteen
Gunner
After work I head to the hotel she’s staying at.
Once we are inside her room, she takes off her oxford shoes and sets them by the door.
I lean against the white wall with my hands shoved in my pockets. She stands in front of me with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot.
I have to give it to her, she might be quiet around other people, but she doesn’t let anyone use her as a doormat. I like the fire that blazes in her eyes as she stares me down like she has the match to burn our relationship down. In a way she does.
“Start talking.”
“I hate my birthday, Rainbow.”
“I figured that out, but why?”
“I did something too shameful to talk about.” I rub the back of my neck. I plan to go to my grave with this secret. “It’s the main reason why I see a therapist.”
“And the reason why you drink as well, right?” I nod. Then she looks me up and down, like my secret is written on my body. “I’ve never seen you this angry.” Her voice is soft.
“I’m good at hiding it until I’m ready to fucking explode.”
The tension builds between us, suffocating me, so I loosen my navy tie and unbutton my cufflinks.
“The guy I was with used to explode a lot. He used to take his anger out on me.”
My blood fucking boils. I clench and unclench my fist a few times. I stride toward her, and she puts her hands up to stop me.
“I need to tell you this.” She pauses for several beats. “He isolated me from people, and I was only allowed to go to my dorms and class. We moved in together our sophomore year, and he got worse. I’m sorry. I’m rambling. My point is ... those anger outbursts scare me, Gunner. I live in constant fear of being abused. Yesterday brought on a lot of emotions I didn’t want to face.”
I close the gap between us by pulling her into a hug. I want to gut that jackass like a fish. If he wasn’t caught, I bet he’s still doing it to someone else. I wish I could suck all the pain from her and toss it into the middle of the ocean. “Gia, I might be a dick at times, but I swear to you, I’ll never hit you. Those thoughts never crossed my mind.”
“I believe you,” she says. “We’ve lived together for two and a half months. You had plenty of time to hurt me, and you haven’t.”
Warmth surges in my heart, and I kiss her on the lips as I rub my calloused thumb over her cheeks. Her face turns red.
“Is that the reason why you dropped out of college?”
Pulling away from our embrace, she shakes her head. “No. I-I dropped out because he raped me.”
“What?” My rage is back full throttle, and I squeeze her hand. She watches my reaction closely, clearly debating if she should tell me more.
“He went out of town for a wrestling match and was supposed to be gone for a whole weekend, so I snuck out and went to a party with Izzy. He got back home early because it was canceled. We got into an argument about it, and he accused me of wanting another guy. I denied it. He got angry and punched me in the gut with his brass knuckles—it’s what he used every time he beat me. And after I fell to the floor, he climbed on top of me and… you know.” Her words are detached, like she isn’t talking about herself but someone else. “After he fell asleep, I called Izzy to pick me up and told her everything. I moved in with her until I got back on my feet. He tried to get me back by sending me flowers and putting on this good-guy act like he did when I first met him. But I started therapy and my psychologist helped me to see that it was all an act. He’s a narcissist. I took out a restraining order on him to leave me alone, but he didn’t stop. Ryan never gave up. He tried to throw acid on me but missed. I ran to the next-door neighbor and called the cops. He was thrown in jail for a few months, and I moved upstate for three years before I came back.” She breathes in through her nose and out her mouth. “People think that it’s so easy to walk away from an abusive person, but it isn’t. They get worse when you try to leave because they have a fear of losing power.” She wraps her arms around my waist, and I kiss her hair.
I know that all too well. Every time my ma tried to leave my sperm donor, he would beat her so bad, and the only reason why he left us was for his younger mistress.
Then realization hits me like a ton of bricks. When I first fucked Gia, I didn’t think about her needs or what she wanted. I was being a selfish bastard. I thought she didn’t fuck because she was practicing celibacy.
“Wait a minute.” I take my index finger and thumb and rub my eyes. “I’ve been rough on you when I fuck you. I didn’t kn—”
