Page 63 of Heartless Boss
“Why didn’t you tell us about that little girl up there?” Her tone is laced with hurt.
Because I’m a selfish bastard, and if I told you what I did to our dad you might not forgive me.My mouth burns to say it, to tell her everything, but I can’t, so instead I say, “I don’t have a real good answer to that.”
“Where is Dad? When did you get in contact with him?” She perches on the couch, plays with the end of her white shirt with the DC Comics logo on it. She’s lost some weight after having Cydney.
Growing up, Alana used to ask me and Ma questions about Dad. Why did he leave? What I remember about him? What did he look like? I used to answer some of her questions. When I told her he wasn’t a nice man to Ma and he used to hit her, she’d respond with, “Maybe he changed. People change all the time.” The one thing I admire about my sister, she’s always had a bigger heart than most people.
When Alana was seven years old, she used to write him letters every week but stopped around the time she turned sixteen.
“He died last year on my birthday.”
She gasps in horror at my words.
“I hired a private investigator to find him. He was living on Long Island and was working at a bar. When I introduced myself to him, he knew who I was and told me that he has an account with my bank. He told everyone at the bar how proud of me he was. He got drunk, he asked me about you and Ma. I updated him. Then I asked him why he abused me and Ma.”
I remember that day crystal clearly. I was so fucking angry for how he treated us, and I was happy to see him. I’d never been so fucking confused in my life.
“Hold the fuck up.” She puts her hands up in the air. “You were abused by Dad?”
I avert my eyes to the floor. I never told Alana nor Ma the horrible shit he did to me.
She throws her arms around my shoulders and rests her head on my chest. “I’m so sorry, Gunz. That’s why you would never talk about him.” She pauses. “Does Mom know?”
“No, and don’t say shit to her.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
“He didn’t have an answer to my question. He told me he was a changed man, and he didn’t hit women and kids anymore. I drove him home, and that’s when he introduced me to Cora and Rylee. He told Rylee to make us something to eat, and then I noticed she was wearing a turtleneck sweater and would flinch and act so scared around me or him. Cora was sitting on the couch and I told her that I was her brother. She asked me a ton of questions about my life. Then she asked me if I wanted to see her room. I told her yeah, whatever. When I got there, she told me about the bruised marks on her mom, and she told me that when they went to bed, she would hear shouting and her mom telling him to stop, that he’s hurting her. When Dad popped his head in the door, asking what we’re talking about, I lied to him and told she was telling me about her manga collection. Cora asked him if he could give her a ride to her friend’s house, and I volunteered to do it.”
Alana hugs me tight.
“So I dropped Cora off, then on my way home I was coming up with ways to get Rylee and Cora out of the situation. I got drunk and passed out on the floor. The next morning, I got a phone call from Rylee saying Dad shot himself in the head, and he was dead.” I grow quiet. My heart beats rapidly, like it’s going to burst in my ribcage, and I want to vomit.
I had to leave out what actually happened that night because this isn’t the time to tell her what really went down, and I’m not going to rat my own ass out.
“I’m so fucking pissed at you,” she says, pulling away from our embrace.
“I know. I’ve been a shitty brother.”
“Damn right you have been.”
Several minutes later, Darien walks downstairs with Cydney in his arms. His dark hair sticks up as he rubs his eyes. He looks like he just woke up from a nap.
“It’s time to go home, Darien.”
Darien’s eyes dart between me and Alana and confusion colors his face. “What’s wrong, Siren?”
“Just ... I want to get the hell out of here.”
They pack up Cydney’s Winnie the Pooh playpen, then they leave.
Just fucking great. Now my sister is pissed off at me. But I have no one to blame but myself. I made my bed, now I must lie in it.
I head upstairs to the movie theater. Gia is sitting next to Cora while they watch a movie. Cora’s eyes may be glued to the gigantic screen, but she is also speaking to someone on her phone. I perch on the thick velvet seat next to Gia. How am I going to break it to her that her mom doesn’t want her? And she’s in jail. No, I’m not going to tell her just yet. I’ll come up with another lie.
“Are you okay?” Rainbow whispers in my ear, sliding into my lap and slinging her arms around my neck.
“No, I managed to piss off Alana, but I told her about my dad, and about the abuse,” I whisper back.
