Page 150 of For the Boys
“Yeah well, that makes two of us,” she told him.
“So then why aren’t we together? Honestly, Berkley. If I love you, and I do, and you love me, which…okay, maybe you don’t, but either way I miss you so much and I came here today with this big plan to win you back and then I changed my mind at the last minute because I know how you feel about surprises and grand gestures and me making your things about me but I stayed anyway because I wanted to be here celebrating my girl on the biggest day of her life.”
She smiled wider at his rambling and said, “I do.”
“You do what?” Brent asked, forehead scrunching in confusion.
“I do love you.”
“I’m glad to hear that, but then I don’t understand why we aren’t together.” He ran a hand through his hair, that stubborn piece curling back onto his forehead. Berkley wanted to reach out and brush it back, then bury her hands in the inky strands. She wanted to lose herself in the warmth of his body and never let him go again.
Having him standing here, in front of her, made her realize how much she had missed him. She loved him, with her entire being, and she couldn’t walk away from that, not again, no matter how difficult the road might be.
“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “But I’m willing to try again, if you are.”
Brent’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
She nodded. “But we need to have a conversation first. One where you actually listen to me.”
“God, yes,” he said, nodding emphatically. “I’ll do whatever you want.”
They walked the rest of the way to Brent’s truck in silence, the tension palpable. They were going to try again, yes, but only if some compromises could be made. Once they climbed into the truck, Brent immediately reached out for Berkley’s hand, and she let him, gripping his tightly in return. In the confines of the cab, she couldn’t escape that woodsy citrus scent of him, and she wanted to crawl into his lap and bury her face in his shirt.
Later, Daniels. Talk first, then makeout.
Taking a deep breath, she began. “I’m a master of self-sabotage. I’ve been burnt way too many times by guys, and it’s made me skittish. It doesn’t excuse how I’ve acted, but it’s how I feel. My need for independence has stemmed from a lifetime of being taught to rely on myself and no one else. I’m perfectly comfortable, happy even, being alone. So when you came along, and you, Brent freaking Jean, somehow wanted to be with little old me, it caused some issues for me.”
“I noticed,” Brent said with a small smile.
“It’s not that I don’t love you. You’re the love of my life, too,” she said, and he squeezed her hand, a smile splitting his face. “But I can’t feel suffocated in a relationship. The second I start to feel cornered, I run. When things became too much with us, I used every excuse I could find to justify leaving to myself.”
“Such as?” Brent asked calmly.
God, I really don’t deserve him,she thought.
This man, who she had left because she was scared.
This man, who had given her every single reason to trust him, and she still wouldn’t allow herself to do it.
This man, who loved her despite all of her hangups.
She knew if she wanted to keep him, she was going to have to admit to some things. Things that were going to be difficult to say out loud.
“I’m jealous, okay?” she began. “I can’t help it. Being cheated on hasn’t been an issue in relationships before because I’ve never let them get this far. But with you…I want everything with you, Brent. And I’ll admit, your past was a red flag for me in the beginning.”
“Just in the beginning?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Okay, fine. Your past had me holding myself back from you for months. Is that what you want me to say? I’m jealous, and I was terrified you were going to end up being just like Lee. I thought if I couldn’t even keep a guy like him around, what could I do to make you stay?”
“Berk…” Brent said, squeezing her hand tighter. “You don’t ever have to do anything tomakeme stay. I love you, and I want to be with you. I’m in this for the long haul. It’s as simple as that.”
“Well, I know that now,” she said quietly. “But I’m not done.”
“Okay.”
“I don’t deal well with possessiveness, Brent. I’m not something to be kept. I’m my own person, and I can take care of myself. What you did to Parker was completely uncalled for.”
“Berkley, Parker—”
