Page 111 of On the Line
Embarrassment heated his cheeks as he mentally smacked himself.
There were women out there who would give anything to be courted by a professional athlete. They were the kind of women who looked at men like Mitch and only saw the dollar signs he represented, not what kind of man he was.
And he knew Lexie, knew her well enough to know that she certainly didn’t fall into that category. So why had he been treating her as such?
Her parents had spent her entire life using her and attempting to buy her love and affection, and here he was, pulling the same shit.
He was such a dumbass.
So finally, he said, “Tell me what I need to do then. Tell me what it’s going to take to get you to stop looking at me like that.”
Her thick, perfect eyebrows drew together, and she said, “Like what?”
“Like you want to rip my balls from my body.”
Lexie snorted, and Mitch relaxed a bit. If she was laughing at him, that was a step in the right direction.
“I just need some time,” she said quietly. “You leaving was…hard. And I know I told you it was over and made you leave that night we had dinner with my parents but…”
She swallowed hard, and Mitch could tell she was at war with herself on whether or not to voice her thoughts.
“But what?” He prompted.
“You were the one person, other than Berkley, who knew how bad it was for me growing up. How the only way I could get my parents attention was by acting out, and even then all it ever accomplished was getting us moved to a new city. They didn’t love or care about me or even really want me.” She lifted her hand and swiped at her eyes, but Mitch didn’t dare move a muscle, no matter how badly he wanted to cradle her in his arms and promise her he’d never leave her again. “You were the one person who promised never to go, who promised to spend every day proving to me what a gift I am. Those were your exact words, Mitch.” She lifted her head to meet his eyes then, and for the first time, he truly understood how hard this last year had been for her. How broken she was.
And it was all his fault.
The strength of this woman, after everything her parents put her through, to be sitting across from him now…it was awe-inspiring.
“I am so sorry, Lexie,” he said. “There’s no excuse. Nothing I could ever say will erase the last year.”
“Why did you do it?”
It was then he realized that not a single person had asked him that in the months since he’d come back to Michigan. It had been so easy to slip back into his old life and to be around his old friends.
“I was angry,” he said. “At you, about the trade, at everything. I didn’t know how to fight for you from across the country. At the time, everything felt so broken that it just made sense to cut ties, burn every bridge, and move to LA with a clean slate.
“Leaving your apartment that night after dinner with your parents was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I wanted nothing more than to fall to the ground at your feet and beg you not to push me away. But you’re so damn stubborn, and that night had already been so emotionally draining on both of us. We never talked about it, and I know how mad you were at me for talking to your parents the way I did but…I’m not going to apologize for it. I willneverapologize for having your back. I would’ve done and said a lot worse to them if I felt the need to. The way they spoke to you,aboutyou, even with you sitting mere feet away from them…it still makes me angry. And the worst part was that you just sat there and took it. I was almost disappointed in you. That you, this stubborn, independent, beautiful woman who found the strength to love me back when you’d grown up with those people as parents, didn’t even bother to fight for yourself. You let them walk all over you, and chew you up and spit you out just like they’d been doing for your entire life. I was disappointed, and I was heartbroken for you.
“And when you finally sparked to life, and your anger wasn’t even directed at them but atme?” He said, stabbing a finger into his chest. “That was the moment I realized how deep their brainwashing of you had gone. I just needed some time to figure my shit out. And let you figure out yours. And I tried to talk to you after that all went down, but you ignored every attempt. What more could I have done?”
Lexie studied him for several long moments, and he had to work hard not to squirm under her gaze. He felt stripped bare when she looked at him like that, as though she could see beneath his skin and bones right to the heart of him. It was an uncomfortable sensation, but for this woman, hell, he’d run around this loft naked if she asked.
“I guess I understand why you did what you did,” she finally said. “But it doesn’t mean I just magically forgive you. Everyone else seems to be happy you’re home and comfortable with moving on as though nothing happened, but…I can’t do that. I’m just not there yet.”
“So where do we go from here?” He asked.
“I don’t know, Mitch,” she said. “I still just need time.”
And then she got up and walked away from him.
Time? He could give her that.
But she never said she needed space.
ThreedaysaftertheWarriors won their Stanley Cup clinching game, Berkley had transitioned fully from WAG mode to wedding mode.
And Lexie was along for the ride.
