Page 119 of A Heart Worth Finding
“Since you asked so nicely,” he said, then pushed home.
And as their bodies joined, as Jack slowly rocked his hips in and out, as Jessica enthusiastically met every one of his thrusts, from that first push inside to the moment they detonated together, every anxious and worried thought floated from her mind until there was only this. Until there was only Jack.
NOW: April 16, 2024
The Spartans lost thenational championship game and returned to East Lansing with heavy hearts.
Despite the loss, the city and their classmates welcomed them home with open arms, proud of the incredible season though it hadn’t ended the way they’d hoped.
The absolute last thing Jack wanted to do after costing his team a title was go to the bar and pretend to be happy and enjoying himself while people offered him useless platitudes and words of encouragement—not to mention the fact that it was a Tuesday night—but the boys refused to take no for an answer.
It was supposed to be a team bonding thing, a way for them to send the seniors off in the only way they knew how—with lotsof alcohol. Aiden had already left, gone to Toledo to play for the Warriors’ farm team there, and it didn’t feel the same without him. His best friend’s absence only added to Jack’s somber mood.
So, he made it clear he would only be going if Jessica went, hoping she would say she had too much work to do and couldn’t, which would then give Jack an excuse to beg off. Unfortunately, Jessica surprised him by saying a night out was exactly what she needed.
Jack tried to enjoy himself, he really did. But his mind had other ideas, and despite the endless string of shots and bottles of beer and glasses of mixed drinks that passed in and out of his hands, he simply wasn’t in the mood for celebrating. After all, they’dlost. What was there to celebrate?
When the clock struck midnight, Jack had had enough, and he rose from the bench he’d tossed himself on the moment they walked into Rick’s. The crowd was thin, so he hadn’t suffered too much under the weight of pitying stares and people making comments about their “hell of a run.” Honestly, he’d feel better if people were mad at him. After all, he was the reason they’d lost. He was thegoalie; it was his fucking job to stop pucks, and he hadn’t been good enough to do that against North Dakota.
“I’m going home,” he told his teammates, who, after only a few hours, had descended into complete and utter alcohol-fueled chaos.
“No!” Luke shouted, tugging on Jack’s arm. “Stay. Please. This is our last chance to celebrate.”
Jack shook his arm free. “Nah, man. I just…I can’t be here right now.” He looked at Jessica. “Are you coming with me?”
“Of course,” she said, following Jack out of their dimly lit corner and up the stairs to street level without another word to anyone.
The few blocks they had to walk between Rick’s and his house passed in silence fraught with all the things Jack could tell Jessica wanted to say, but was holding onto until they were safely inside.
And of course, the moment the front door closed behind them, she wasted no time in leveling him with a concerned stare and saying, “What’s wrong?”
Jack heaved a sigh, wishing he could ignore the question but knowing there was no way out of this. “I just don’t feel like celebrating,” he said. Not a lie, but not the full truth, either.
“There’s more to it than that,” she said.
Most of the time, Jack loved how well his girl understood him, how easy he was for her to read. But right now, he wished he was less transparent.
“Maybe I don’t want to talk about it,” he said.
“Maybe you don’twantto,” she said, “but you should.”
Ignoring her, he trudged up the stairs, every footstep heavy with the weight on his shoulders, a weight that should’ve vanished at the conclusion of the season. There was nothing to carry any longer. No next win, no survive and advance, no title within their grasp.
There was only loss.
And he’d been so busy mourning that shattered dream that he hadn’t properly mourned the end of his collegiate career. He would never again suit up with Aiden and Luke and Asher, would never again don the green and white and play a game as a Michigan State University Spartan. The realization hit him like a freight train, and he stumbled when he reached the landing.
Jessica’s hands were on him in an instant, steadying and grounding. “Let’s get you into bed,” she said.
Jack only nodded, knowing that her dropping the subject of his melancholic mood was too much to hope for.
They didn’t speak as they shuffled into his room, as Jessica stripped him out of his jeans and t-shirt, leaving him only in his boxers. As she drew back the covers on his bed and gave him a gentle nudge, urging him to crawl in. Wordlessly, he turned the TV on, navigating to an episode ofPsych—one of his favorite comfort shows—in hopes that it would lift his spirits. Jessica left the room, and a moment later, he heard the water running in the bathroom, where she was presumably preparing for bed.
When she returned, she was fresh-faced, though more beautiful than ever, wearing one of his t-shirts and a pair of well-worn cotton sleep shorts. She slid into bed next to him, and he automatically opened his arm and dragged her into his side.
“I love you, you know,” she said quietly.
Jack nodded, swallowing hard, then said, “It’s my fault we lost. That’s what my problem is.”
