Page 40 of A Heart Worth Finding
“Silas and I have spent a lot of time together over the years, at various Greek functions, but also just…hanging out. Grabbing dinner on campus together. Texting anytime we weren’t together. And slowly, without me ever really realizing it, I fell for him.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“I’m getting to that,” she said, then pulled out his desk chair and dropped onto it. “I’ve spent the last few years hanging out with her boyfriend behind her back, knowing full well he nevermentioned to her just how close he and I are, still jealous of her. And that makes me a really shitty person. When I met her last weekend, and then you accused Silas of having feelings for me…I guess the blinders were lifted. Jessica is such a sweet girl, and I’ll be limiting time spent with Silas from here on out. And it’s not fair to either of us”—she waved her hand between them—“to stay together, to keep trying to make whatever this is work, if my heart is somewhere else.”
Jack was momentarily dumbfounded. He felt vindicated that he’d been right—sort of—but also dejected over the loss of this relationship he’d really wanted to work. And his heart broke a little bit for Jessica, who was in a long-term relationship with a guy who had walked around keeping this whole other important relationship from her.
The whole thing was messy, and Jack was secretly happy to be free from the drama.
Although…if Jessica was involved, was he truly free?
It appeared, to some degree, he still had skin in the game.
Numbly, all Jack could do was nod, not trusting himself to start spewing words he couldn’t take back at Sofia—words that had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Jessica.
That wasn’t his problem to solve.
Later that night, after Sofia had left with an awkward hug and kiss to his cheek, Jack laid in bed, watching his ceiling fan endlessly spin while he tried and failed to sleep. Like the fan, his mind swirled with thoughts of Sofia and Silas, of him and Jessica.
An idea struck him, and he knew it was a bad idea, knew it would probably cause more harm than good, but he couldn’t help himself. Rolling over, he reached for his phone and typed out four words, hitting send before he could think twice.
It was nearly two in the morning, so Jack wasn’t expecting a response. Still, he felt lighter for having gotten it off his chest—light enough that he could finally drift off to sleep.
He was toeing the line, one foot in unconsciousness, one foot out, when his phone pinged.
THEN: April 7, 2020
“Well, isn’t this cozy.”
Jack bolted upright in bed, earning a groan from the body curled up at his side.
His half-drunk, sleep-addled brain didn’t know where to look first, so his eyes darted between the guy hulking over him and the girl lying next to him.
“Jess?” Jack said, blinking rapidly, ignoring his friends altogether.
“What time is it?” she grumbled as she sat up.
“Just after three,” Bethani said.
“What are you doing here?” Jack asked Jessica.
Jessica blinked slowly. “You were really drunk. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“How did we get here?”
“I brought you back,” she said, nose scrunching in the cutest way.
“Youbrought me back? By yourself?”
“Yes?” she said, forehead wrinkling with her confusion. “You don’t remember anything?”
Jack closed his eyes and dropped his head into his hands, willing his brain to conjure any memory of the evening. Unfortunately, nothing came to him.
It was like that “Last Night Gus” episode ofPsychwhere Shawn’s memory is broken. Only flashes of light and—inexplicably—the words to “Wonderwall” floated through his mind.
“The last thing I remember was dinner,” he said.
“Where you got absolutely bombed,” Tyler supplied for him. “So that makes sense.”
