Page 118 of Forecheck
“I set up Google alerts for your name after the trade deadline fiasco, but that’s not the point.”
“Then what is the point? If you’d just let me expl—”
“I don’t want explanations from you,” she said. “I don’t want lies. I want…This is all moving so fast, and I feel like I got caught up in the novelty of it all. With law school ending soon, and me taking the Bar in a few months, I haven’t had the chance to just sit and breathe for longer than a second since we started dating. Ineedto breathe, Brent. I need space. I…I can’t do this with you right now.”
“So that’s it. We’re just done?”
“I don’t know. This picture triggered some shit for me, and right now I’m just not sure I can trust you. Youknowwhat I’ve been through.”
“Exactly. I know what you’ve been through, and that’s not the kind of man I am! Where is this even coming from? Why can’t you believe me when I tell you I wasn’t with some girl this weekend?”
“Because pictures don’t lie, Brent! Iknowthat’s you with your hands all over someone else! I’ve given enough to this relationship. I will not give away my dignity, too.”
“And you don’t think I’ve given anything?”
“You’ve givennothing,” she said on a harsh laugh. “I’ve been the only one making sacrifices here! My anonymity, my free time, my body, my heart.”
“Berkley…”
“No, Brent. You’ve asked so much of me these last months.”
“I have not.”
She gave me a sad smile. “You have. Maybe not in so many words, but simply being your girlfriend is asking a lot of me. Maybe more than I signed up for. I don’t want to only be known asBrent Jean’s girlfriend. I’m my own person, with my own identity, my own dreams. I can’t have everything I’ve worked so hard for, all of my accomplishments, be shoved to the side in favor of being your plus one for the rest of my life.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was struck completely dumb by the abrupt left turn we’d taken from last night. How had we gone from skin on skin confessions and falling asleep happily in each other’s arms to…this?
“I…” I started. “My body, my heart, my…everythingis yours Berkley.Everything.”
“And that doesn’t scare you?”
“Not even a little bit,” I answered honestly. “It’s been the easiest thing in the world for me.”
“Well it fucking terrifies me,” she said, voice cracking. “And I’m not sure I want it. I’m not sure I can give you that in return.”
“Baby, you already have. And I’m not asking you to give up a single piece of who you are. I love you in all ways, remember?”
She turned away from me then, and the sight of her back hit me with a finality that hadn’t yet penetrated until now.
All at once, I could feel it deep in my bones, as sure as I knew my own name. As sure as I knew the sun would rise in the east tomorrow, that the world would keep spinning, that I was meant to play hockey—I knew.
Berkley was about to leave me.
Fear zipped down my spine. I had done this.Ihad ruined us.
And I didn’t even know how.
“I need time and space,” she said. “I need you to leave.”
“Baby, don’t do this.”
I would do anything she asked if it meant stopping the words I knew were coming.
Her shoulders hunched as she wrapped her arms around herself, her head hanging, hair hiding her face from view as I moved to stand in front of her. If only she would look up, look at me, remember what we had—what she was about to let go of—I was certain we could figure this out.
As if I’d manifested it, Berkley raised her head and locked her watery eyes on mine, taking a deep, shaky breath.
“I can’t be with you anymore,” she said, the words wobbling.
