Page 19 of A Vine Mess
The words weren’t anything I hadn’t heard before, but they still needled. I knew it was my own fault the residents of Apple Blossom Bay viewed me that way, but it still smarted that they so callously went along with it instead of attempting to get to know me.
“What do you see then?” I asked, not entirely sure I wanted to know the answer.
“You’re crazy smart,” she said quickly. “Though I doubt that’s ever been in question. But you’re kind—way more so than anyone gives you credit for. I’m sure that has a lot to do with you,” she added with a brow raise, easily pegging me. I loved and hated that in equal measure. Loved having her be the one to see right to my core, but hated that she so easily exposed my soft underbelly.
“When I came here, I was running,” I said, recognizing that was the first time I admitted that out loud to anyone.
“From what?”
I exhaled deeply through my nose. “I’ll tell you one day. It’s not important now. What is important is that I dove headfirst into my job at the winery and fixing up this old place because I needed the distraction. It seemed like, before I could really blink, over a year had passed, and the people around here had already made up their minds about me. I’ve never had the energy nor desire to correct them.”
“Sometimes, I wish for that.”
“For what?”
“The anonymity you have. I’ve spent my entire life here, and my family settled this town. I’ve never known a single day of peace where its residents are concerned.”
“It’s great you have that sense of community, though. Right?”
“Yes, and no. Some days, I just want to disappear. To…feel my feelings without everything I do and say being examined under a microscope. And I know with my family, that will never go away. They care about me, as I do them, and I love them for it…but I would kill to go one week—hell, oneday—without someone in town stopping me on the street to say how sorry they were to hear about my breakup. It makes my skin crawl to know these people are talking about me behind closed doors, you know? Or, sometimes, just right out in the open where anyone can hear and chime in. Sometimes, it just feels like my life isn’t mine.”
She glanced up at me then, those green eyes swimming with emotion, and added, “That’s why I need this trip. Thank you for letting me tag along.”
Breakups were like bruises. Eventually, they became nothing more than some discolored flesh and a memory of the ache you’d once felt. But in the thick of them, when your skin was still mottled black and blue, pressing on them meant only pain.
The last thing I wanted to do was cause this woman pain. It may have been several months past, but there was no timeline for healing.
Unbidden, my hand slid across the table to clasp hers.
“Anytime.”
The mood between us was considerably lighter after that, as though we’d unburdened ourselves and could now move ontomore exciting matters—the road trip.
Maybe it made me old fashioned, but I liked maps. In my home office, I had an older, sepia-toned map of the United States framed on the wall, and I liked sticking pins in the places I’d traveled. Recently, I hadn’t added many, but I had taken the liberty of using a row of bright-blue-headed pins to map my route from here to Portland.
When we finished eating, I walked Ella back there, the trip taking twice as long as it should have because she stopped frequently to admire the craftsmanship of my home.
Her awe pleased me to no end, but I couldn’t let it go to my head.
She wasn’t admiring me, only my ability to use my hands.
I’d like to show herallthe things I could do with them.
Fuck, Danvers. Snap out of it.
I turned the corner into the office ahead of her and mentally shook myself, but it was no use. My thoughts were clouded withherevery time she was near.
I was a pathetic bastard.
But, I was a pathetic bastard who had the girl of his dreams in his home right then, so maybe I wasn’t doing as bad as I thought.
When Ella entered the room, I swore all the clear air left it until only her floral scent remained. I wasn’t complaining; I’d happily drown in it.
“Wow,” she breathed, stepping closer to the wall to examine the map. “This is incredible.”
Careful not to touch her, I also approached, tracing my fingers along the map’s surface and the path I’d charted. “This is the route we’ll take.”
Ella leaned in and squinted. “Why are we going through the UP? Wouldn’t it be faster to go south?”
