Page 109 of Distress Signal
Crossing my arms over my chest, I stared him down.
“You can say that until you’re blue in the face, Finn, but we both know it’s bullshit. That man was here forme. And Aria got caught in the crossfire. I willneverforgive myself for that.”
“So you’re just going to run?”
“I’m not running. I’m removing myself from the situation in order to protect you and your family.”
“Bullshit,” he spat. “You’rerunning, just like you did seven years ago.”
I gasped, rearing back like he’d slapped me.
“Howdareyou? I left because I had to.Youdidn’t even stay! We agreed to one night.”
“Maybe so, but you stayed away because you were afraid. You were scared then, and you’re scared now.”
“Scared of what, exactly? The worst has already happened, Finn. My sister ismissingand will probably die without us ever knowing what happened to her. Your sister wasattacked.”
“You’re scared of what you feel for me. Of what’s happening between us. Of how fuckingrightit feels when we’re together.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
A weak, hurtful lie.
Finn only laughed.
“Iknowyou feel it, Reagan. So stop lying to yourself, and stop lying to me.”
My gaze narrowed on him. “Did you ever stop to think that I’m doing thisbecauseI care about you? And your family? And refuse to be the reason another one of you winds up hurt?”
“Afraid you don’t have a choice, belle,” he said. “I knew what I was getting into when you came here, and you are not responsible for the safety of my family.” In a flash, he was in front of me and hauling me into another crushing hug. “Aria is going to be okay, and so is your sister. None of what’s happened is your fault.”
“All of it is my fault,” I mumbled into his chest, but my argument was quickly losing steam.
I didn’twantto run. I’d never felt more at home than I did in Finn’s arms.
But once again, I faced the cost of our being together, and if people continued to get hurt, it wasn’t a price I was willing to pay.
“Stop punishing yourself, Reagan. You’re only hurting us both.”
Though I hadn’t stopped to consider it, I had to admit, since I’d made the decision to leave, my heart felt like it had shatteredin my chest. Finn’s proximity was a balm, drawing the broken parts back in and piecing them together.
“Do you want me to beg?” he asked when I didn’t immediately respond. “I’ll get on my fucking knees and beg.Please, belle. Don’t go.”
“I don’t want to,” I admitted.
“You belong right here with me,” he said softly, pressing a kiss against my hair. “I know staying when every fiber of your being is begging you to run isn’t easy, but I need you to. For me. Forus.”
I retreated enough to look up at him. “You know what that’s like?”
He chuckled. “Baby, I was in the Army. In active warzones. Of course I know what that’s like.”
Rolling my eyes, I said, “That’s totally different.”
“You’re right,” he agreed. “Then, my and the lives of West and our team were on the line. Here…well, I have to admit, I don’t think I could survive without you.”
I shook my head. “No, Finn. You’d be fine without me. But me? Right here, in your arms? It’s where I’m safest. And if I didn’t have it anymore, who knows what would happen to me.”
“Yet you tried to run,” he said, slightly teasing.
