Page 67 of A Cowboy's Claim
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She couldn’t believe her ears. Sydney stared at Declan. “You can’t say something like that.”
He raised a brow. “Which part of it? Confess that I’m afraid?”
“You can’t—” Her heart pounded harder, and Sydney discovered she’d pressed a hand to her chest, fingers numb over her racing heart. “Declan.”
He deliberately folded his hands in his lap. “I’m no wordsmith, but it seems with the mess we have to wade through tonight, I should keep the parts I know simple and straight up. I meant every word. I’m falling in love with you—hell, I’minlove with you, and that scares me shitless.”
Sydney closed her eyes, the electric pulse racing through her making her light-headed. “You can’t be in love with me.”
He chuckled. “Nice try. Tell me another one.”
A flash of something other than confusion made her lean forward and offer him a heated glare. “I’ll admit I’m drawn to you. I’ve had more than fun this past year, and if it were up to me, I’d be advocating hard for us to date for real. But I just told you how messed up my situation is.”
Declan waved a hand in the air. “We’ll talk in circles if we’re not careful. So let’s get this straight. Yes, I heard the bullshit your grandfather put in place. That’s a huge, complicated fuck up, but it’s also something I’m damn sure can be solved when we put our heads together with the rest of the family.” He shifted position, sitting awkwardly in a modified cross-legged position at her side. “So let’s pretend it’s not an issue. Let’s focus on us because that’s a big enough ball of trouble all on its own.”
“Okay, fine. But you can’t go tossing around words like love,” Sydney rebuked. “That makes my brain crazy.”
He shrugged. “Talking about emotions without naming the emotions doesn’t work for me.” He made a face. “Seriously, how come I’m having to play the emo card?”
“Because we don’t say those type of things in my family,” Sydney offered bluntly.
Confusion danced over his face. “You say you love Tansy and Petra damn near every time you’re around them.”
She leaned back and took a deep breath. “That is because Tansy is so…Tansy. The little brat made me repeat it back to her one day about a dozen times in a row before she let me out of that deathtrap of a van she used to drive.” It was Sydney’s turn to shrug. “After that I started telling her I loved her proactively to keep her from turning into a Disney princess in public, dancing around me like I was a maypole while she sangI love you, I love you, I love you.”
Declan’s lips twitched hard.
She reached over and slapped his arm. “It’s not funny.”
“Wasn’t laughing,” he said, eyes widening.
Oh really?“You were too. I know your laughing face, and that was absolutely alaughing at Sydneyface.”
“Okay. I am amused.” He looked up, thoughtful. “Repetition and training. I can deal with that.”
Wait, what? Sydney put two and two together and got another reason to glare at him. “You are not training me like a dog to sayI love you.”
“Hopefully not. I’d kinda like you to say it all on your own at some point. Which does not have to be today,” he continued. Declan caught her fingers in his. “Back to me being totally serious. We’ve spent enough time together this past year, so whether you believe it or not, I’m way beyond just caring about you as a friend. But I’m also being brutally honest when I say that scares me. The last woman I felt like this for was Sadie.”
When big strong Declan’s voice grew shaky on the final words, Sydney figured she was done for. “I’m not getting through this conversation without crying like a baby,” she warned.
“Hopefully you didn’t use all the toilet paper.”
Dammit. She was still on the edge of crying, but now she was laughing as well.
“That does have to feel scary.” She softened her tone and really thought it through. He’d said the two women he’d loved?—
Sadie. And…
“Oh, Declan. Your mom didn’t want to leave you. Neither did Sadie.”
“I know that, in here.” He tapped a finger to his temple. “But in here?” He laid his hand over his heart and shook his head.
Fine. It seemed this was the night of true confessions.
Sydney dug down deep and let it out. “I’ve got some issues with a couple of key life areas. Some of it I’m sure caused by Grandpa Nate and his attitude, but there’s another one that no one knows about.”
