Page 7 of A Cowboy's Claim
Late in the meal, Tansy leaned a shoulder into hers. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Sydney lied with quick ease then smiled at her friend. “Long day.”
“Stay and relax by the fire?”
“Head home and crash,” Sydney countered. “I love you guys, but tonight I need to escape.”
“Love you too.” Petra patted her hand. “Escape as needed. If you change your mind, or need an intervention, we can travel to your place.”
“I promise I’ll call.”
Avoiding eye contact with any of the men still seated at the table, Sydney carried her dishes to the counter then tried for a smooth getaway.
It didn’t work. The second she stepped onto the porch she spotted him. Declan leaned against the side of her truck, staring at his feet as he tapped one toe gently.
“Fuck,” she muttered, motionless on the stairs.
He snorted, still staring at the ground.
“How did you hear that?” she demanded, making her way to his side.
“I was expecting it,” he admitted. “I’ve been thinking it all night.”
Yeah. She could believe that.
She should’ve walked past him. Instead, she stopped and stared up into his deep blue eyes. God, the depths she saw in there. The strength, and the compassion. Beyond temptation. “You threw me for a loop.”
“Threw myself, to be honest. Timing wasn’t very smart,” he said quietly.
This was lining up to be the worst moment ever, Sydney decided. The only way to make it more painful would be to draw it out and hurt a good man for longer than necessary. “I’m flattered, but the answer is no.”
Because trying to explain without telling the truth—that she couldn’t, and that on top of it, she had too many phobias to even consider being with someone full-time…
No is a complete sentence.It felt like a cruel one at a moment like this, but it was a full sentence.
She wondered if he would flinch or look sad.
He simply nodded sagely. “Okay. I won’t argue with you. But just so that I know the lay of the land, is this anoforever because you’ve zero interest in ever getting involved with a man like me on a permanent basis, or is it?—”
“What kind of bullshit is that?” Sydney snapped, seeing red on his behalf. “What do you meana man like you?”
Declan made a face. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, Syd. I know I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. I can understand if that bothers you.”
For fuck’s sake.“The only sign you’ve given that you’re not playing with a full deck is trying to make an idea that fucked up sound logical,” she growled. “I’m not turning you down because I think you’re not smart enough. Dammit, man, you can fix anything, build anything, and you’re the type who can get wild animals to walk up to you and eat out of your hand. There’s no way I could do any of that in a million years. Who cares if my brain and your brain operate on different wavelengths? There’s nobody out there that you need to be thinking is too smart for you or tooanythingfor you. So stop that bullshit. I never want to hear it again.”
Declan sat quietly for a moment. “Question still stands. Is this a no forever? Or is there a chance down the road you might be inclined to change your mind?”
Sweet baby Jesus. She was really starting to understand the phrase about being between a rock and a hard place.
If she had free rein over her decisions, she might be tempted, with a whole lot of rules involved to keep a relationship within acceptable parameters, but being with him—with anyone—wasn’t something she was free to do.
Not if she wanted to keep running the clinic.
Not if she wanted to avoid a life that was the exact opposite of everything she’d worked for.
“You are one hell of a man, Declan Skye. I wouldn’t have gotten involved with you in the first place if you weren’t. I’m just not looking for a relationship. Period.” She squeezed his fingers even as she cursed inside. “I don’t knowwhenI will be, if ever, and it would be a travesty for you to wait around for me. If you want to find somebody to be with, I think you should make that happen.”
It physically hurt to say the words.
