Page 43 of A Cowboy's Claim
A few minutes later, she stood on shaky legs, wiped her mouth, then made her way to the back. She dropped the tailgate, once again climbing on board and looking out over the scenery to calm her nerves.
“I hate this feeling so much.” She didn’t even sound like herself, her voice creaky and hollow.
Her hands were unsteady as she lifted her water bottle and forced down more liquids. Her muscles trembled, nerves jangling like elastics pulled too tight.
No use fighting it any longer. Sydney wiggled farther back into the truck bed. She curled her arms around her legs, rested her forehead against her knees, then let the tears come.
It wasn’t always this bad, delivering a baby. She’d assisted with the arrival of Petra’s niece, and while the fear factor had still been high because of everything that could go wrong, there’d been a steadying link between Zack and Julia. A joyful connection that flowed into the room and lifted them all up.
Things still could have gone wrong in a flash. Like things had gone wrong for Sydney’s friend back when she was still in school.
She cried until her ribs ached then wiped the tears from her cheeks and stared out over the rolling foothills. Sitting there in the quiet, nothing but the occasional bird song or the rustle of leaves to keep her company, she felt completely alone.
The inside of her head liked the relief from Tessa’s caterwauling, but inside her heart, she ached.
At the edge of the tree line, a small furry body appeared, followed by another. Rare to see them out in the daytime, the coyotes moved swiftly and surely from one side of the clearing to the other. It was a small pack, five in total, but they looked healthy, alert—watching each other’s backs without question.
The longer Sydney watched, the more she realized everyone seemed to be telling her the same thing. It was time to ask for help.
Oh, she wasn’t ready to throw in the towel, but in moments like today? When she knew damn well what was wrong, yet had no idea how to fix it?—
And while she knew to the core of her being that both Tansy and Petra were there for her, they weren’t who she wanted right now.
They’d touched on the edges of it the night they’d done the silly speed dating.
She needed Declan’s calm and his anger, and she knew that she’d get both. He’d listen without interruption, and then he’d be as righteously furious at the world as she was, and she needed that.
There was no solving some problems, but right now she needed not to hold the burden by herself.
Sydney hauled out her phone and once again tried to make contact.
For the second time that day she got sent to voice mail, but this wasn’t something she was going to explain to a recorded device.
“Hi, Deck. Just wanted to let you know I’m safely headed back to Heart Falls. Hope to track you down, so I’ll be swinging by High Water in a bit.”
She left it at that then sat for another fifteen minutes, staring at the sunshine reflecting off the distant mountain peaks. Just looking out at the world that was so much bigger than her and letting herself feel small.
She didn’t have all the answers, and maybe she didn’t need to. Not if she was finally ready to stop carrying everything alone.
For once,Declan had a solid sleep, unexpected because he was still worried about High Water and still tied up in knots over Sydney. And there hadn’t been a chance for the two of them to do much more than offer a passing hello since their interruption a few days earlier.
Still, refreshed and relaxed, he’d gone into the house and found five-year-old Jeffrey up and ready to talk the ear off anyone who would listen.
“Me and Daddy and Papa are going to the zoo. And there’s going to be roaring lions and bears whogrrrrrand I get to see snakes.” Jeffrey caught hold of Declan’s sleeve, and shook it as if making sure Declan had a firm grasp of all the details. “Snakes and spiders andmonkeys.”
“This sounds like an important trip,” Declan responded evenly. “Do they have any horses?”
Jeffrey opened his mouth as if to answer then closed it. He frowned, little boy confusion all over his face. “Dothey have horses?” he asked.
“They might have wild horses. You should go ask your daddy,” Declan offered without a hint of guilt at the evil suggestion.
Jeffrey didn’t take the bait. Instead of running off to jump on his new parents’ bed and wake them up, Jeffrey climbed into Declan’s lap and proceeded to list all of the animals that hedidknow were at the zoo, including, eyes widening, “Zebras!”
It was the sweetest thing. Declan was grateful to have the kid around, adding his enthusiasm and joy to their days. He liked kids well enough, but it was kind of nice that he got to enjoy his brothers’ newfound families as an uncle to people with personalities rather than having to deal with the squawking new-arrival type.
If his siblings did end up with babies, he’d be the best uncle possible, but the teeny, easily breakable ones had never really been his thing. He liked them Jeffrey’s age and older.
Declan interrupted Jeffrey’s ramblings to get him a glass of juice and pour himself a cup of coffee. He was flipping French toast while Jeffrey kept up a mile-a-minute monologue when Jake and Tansy showed up in the kitchen.
