What the hell was the matter with her? He’d done nothing but protect and defend her. Hell, he’d even given the robber a chance to walk away, which he wouldn’t have done if she hadn’t been there. He was uprooting his entire life to keep her safe, letting her live in his mansion, letting her bird invade his aviary, lending her his last name, offering her everything she’d ever wanted…hell. The fact that she wasn’t blowing him daily as thanks was, frankly, pretty rude of her. The flinch was just uncalled for.
She hated herself for hurting him. But explaining the truth to him, the truth behind that flinch, was…unthinkable. For tonight, anyway. Maybe she’d feel differently tomorrow.
Feather must’ve sensed her dark mood because she chose that moment to land on River’s shoulder and rub the top of her head against her cheek. “Oh, Feather,” she said on a sigh. “How did everything get so complicated?”
“Shit’s only ever as complicated as you make it.”
River’s head jerked in the direction of that rough grumble, shocked to find Van in the aviary, arms crossed over his chest, frowning at her and Feather like they were in cahoots to actively destroy his life.
She swallowed hard. How did a guy manage to look so disapproving and scary just standing there? Guess that was part of what made him a good at his job. She imagined plenty of bad guys who intended to harm Nico just took one look at Van and walked away.
But she refused to be cowed by his stern appearance. He’d never hurt her. Nico wouldn’t allow it, and Van, she was quickly learning, was loyal to a fault.
“That’s easy for you to say. Things look a little different on my end at the moment,” she said tartly.
He snorted. “Oh, boo hoo. You’re being forced to marry a rich, powerful man who looks at you like you’re the last doughnut in the box. So sorry for your troubles, princess.”
Harsh, but true. Still… “The fact that Nico’s hot and powerful should make me feel better about having completely lost control of my life?”
He smirked at her. “I said rich and powerful. Not hot and powerful. Which proves you like him, too. Having to marry Nico is far from a bad outcome for you.”
Smartass. Which didn’t negate the fact that he was a correct smartass. “No,” she admitted quietly. “It’s not. But that doesn’t mean things aren’t complicated.”
“Because you think he can’t ever love you?”
“Wouldn’t that give you a moment of pause if you were in my shoes?”
“No.”
She blinked at him. That was not the answer she’d expected. “Why not?”
He shrugged. “Because I’ve seen Nico when he’s with you. He could’ve handed you over to the Russians. Or killed you after you tased him, frankly. But he didn’t do either of those things—both of which would’ve made his life simpler, by the way—because he likes you. Respects you. That seems like a damn solid start to a marriage to me.”
“You don’t think love would be a better start to a marriage?”
“Sure, in a perfect world. But there’s nothing perfect about the mafia, princess. And honestly, it’s a little hypocritical of you to pretend like it was Nico who dragged you into his world to begin with.”
She frowned at him. “I never said otherwise.”
“Sure seems like that’s what you were saying when you flinched away from him tonight.”
She sucked in an outraged (and guilty) gasp. “How do you know about that?”
“Enzo gossips like an old lady. But that’s not the point.”
River would remember that about Enzo. Replaying that moment in her mind was painful enough. She certainly didn’t need Enzo spreading the word. “I didn’t mean to flinch,” she muttered.
Van remained expressionless. Feather took pity on her at least, cooing, “Pretty bird” softly against her cheek.
“Well, you did,” Van said, not cruelly, but not kindly, either.
River found his lack of empathy annoying. And a little refreshing if she was being honest. Not that she’d ever tell him that. “I’ll apologize, OK?”
He looked vaguely revolted by the idea. “Apologies don’t mean shit. If you really do care, you’ll have to show him you trust him not to hurt you.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
He gave her a quick once over. “You look smart enough. You’ll figure it out.”