Page 79 of That Conflicted Feeling
Igive myself to him fully, writhing in ecstasy beneath him, contracting against his thrusts and spasms.Forwave after wave, my cries mix with his gasps and groans as we climb and climb together, then crash over the top in one giant, thrashing explosion of joint ecstasy.
Hedrops on top of me.Ourchests, slick with each other’s sweat, slide together.
Isoak him in, inhaling the cucumber-and-mint aromaI’mso familiar with.
“Oh, myGod,” he pants against my shoulder, then turns his head to look at me. “Evenbetter without an audience of llamas.”
Andwe lie here, joined together, laughing.
Asour breath returns to almost normal, he rolls off me with a soft kiss on my lips and pads to the bathroom.
Thebreeze through the open doors is suddenly cool against my damp, exposed body.Ipull back the covers and crawl between the softest sheetsI’veever felt, propping myself up on the mountain of fluffy white pillows.
Inever would have thoughtI’dbe able to let myself relax amid all this luxury, and let myself go along with it purely for the fun of the day, without thinking about tomorrow.Maybeit’s because none of it is ostentatious or obnoxious.Maybebecauseheisn’t.
It’sall simply beautiful.
Andso is he.
Ilean back and close my eyes.
Eventhough my sense of logic can find a thousand faults with the idea of being withMax, my body knows different.
Mymind and body are fulfilled in a way they’ve never been before.Isthis what it feels like when it’s right?
23
MAX
Themost ridiculous smile stares back at me from the bathroom mirror asIwash my hands.
Ican’t put my finger on it, but there’s something different about my reflection.Somethingin the set of my face or the look in my eyes.
MaybeIdid originally stay inWarmSpringsbecauseIwanted to prove something to the uselessYellowBarnexecutive team that opposed my business strategy.AndmaybeIdid think the extra spring in my step was from the thrill of getting my hands dirty working on a deal at the grassroots level for the first time in forever.
ButIcan’t kid myself any longer.
HowaliveI’vefelt these last few days has nothing to do with the thrill of the business chase.Ithas everything to do with the naked woman lying in the bed on the other side of this wall.
Ihaven’t even thought about work since my meeting first thing this morning.Well, there was that brief moment whenIwondered whether it was fair to askCharlotteto deal withTarquintheTerrible’sdemand for the mattress company’s cash flow statement to be reconfigured.Butfuck it, she’ll be fine.AndIhaven’t even been tempted to look at my phone sincePollyopened her door and berated me for showing up in the helicopter.
Apartfrom the foolish grin,Ido still look like me.ButIdon’t feel like me.Everything’sa bit lighter inside.
LikeImight start singing.
Ordo a little dance.
Andthat’s fucking weird.
Oris it whatI’mactually supposed to feel like?DoImaybe feel more like me thanI’veever felt?
Fuck.Thiswhole really-liking-a-girl thing is confusing as shit.
Andanyway, the girlIlike is out there wearing nothing but the sheets, andIneed to get right back to her whileIhave the chance.
WhenIclimbed off her and walked out of the bedroom, it seemed perfectly fine to be completely naked, butI’msuddenly self-conscious at the thought of striding back in with everything dangling about.
Yeah,I’mdefinitely not myself.
