Page 105 of That Fake Feeling
Walker’sstill looking atRose, watching her look at me.Heslowly shifts his gaze to me as if he’s trying to figure out who the person is she’s seeing.
There’sa moment of silence before he speaks.
“Youknow what,” he says toMax, “these two should talk.”
Hegets to his feet and turns his attention back to me. “Itwas wrong of us all to jump on you as soon as the photo came out.”Hepats my older brother on his shoulder. “Let’sgo.Weshould leave them alone.”
“Weshould?”Maxasks, clearly not sure two grown adults can be trusted to make their own decisions.
“Yes,”Walkersays. “Comeon.”Heheads toward the front door.
Maxstands up. “ButI’mnot sure that—”
“Max.Comeon,”Walkersays from the hallway.
Maxshakes his head, rolls his eyes, and trudges out of the room.
JustasIbreathe a sigh of relief, he leans around the doorway, only his head visible.
“Forwhat it’s worth”—for a fraction of a second there,Ithought he might actually leave without sharing his opinion on whatIshould do.Butof course, he can’t help himself.Momdoesn’t call him herMostinChargeSonfor no reason—“Ithink it’s time to cut loose from this arrangement and quit while you’re ahead.Timeyou both go back to your real lives.Andthe real world.”
“Forfuck’s sake,Max,”Walkercalls behind him. “Comeon.Leavethem alone.”
Max’sface disappears sideways as ifWalker’sgrabbed his arm and pulled him away.
Whenthe front door clunks shut and we’re alone again,Rose’seyes meet mine.
“Sorryabout them,”Itell her.
“It’sokay.Youdon’t control them any more than they control you.”
Oh, if only that were true.ButIguess that’s only becauseI’vealways let them.Orat leastI’velet myself be controlled by my fears of their opinions of me.
Ituck one leg under me and turn to face her, my heart in my mouth.
Nowit’s just me andRose.Andwe have to decide for ourselves.
“So,”Iask her. “Whatdo you want to do?”
27
CONNOR
Iwipe my sweaty palms on my pants.
Allthe signs are that the answer to my question isn’t going to be good.
Rosepulled away from me the moment the photographer snapped my “proposal” this morning.Shewas quiet over breakfast, and we spent the rest of the time focused on searching to see if any of the pictures had appeared online, so there was never the right moment for us to talk.
Justhours ago, as we lay in bed, we had our closest, most intimate connection yet.Certainlycloser thanI’veever felt to anyone.Itwas like we finally gave in, accepted our real feelings, surrendered ourselves to each other fully, and were as one on a whole new and unique level.
Butnow, these opposite ends of the sofa might as well be on opposite sides of a vast ocean.
Thesilence gives my stomach a hollow ache.
AllIwant to do is tell herI’mcrazy about her, that she’s made me happier these last few days thanIever remember being, and thatIwant to put the fake thing behind us and move with her into the real world.
It’stime for me to get my life together.AndIwant to do it withRoseat my side.
