Page 64 of That Fake Feeling
Shelooks at me over her shoulder, her eyes sparkling in the glow of the night-light, and wiggles her fingers in a little wave. “Goodnight.”
Iraise my eyebrows at her. “Wejust breached your contract.”
16
ROSE
MaggieandJimstand arm in arm on their doorstep waving and smiling asConnorpulls away and we head down the driveway.
IfIdon’t catch myself,Icould believe this is real.Icould believe we’re a real couple being waved off by the in-laws as we head back home to the city after a fun family gathering.
Thisis the first timeConnorandIhave been alone since that accidental kiss last night.Atleast, it seemed accidental.IsupposeIdid give him a completely unnecessary hug.ButIwas following what looked like a family tradition, wasn’tI?OrmaybeIwas desperate to put my hands on his shoulders.IblameJim’sgenerous wine pouring and his scotch.Butalso,Imight be a tad obsessed with those shoulders.
Connorhad drunk barely anything, though.Hehad only one glass of wine early in the evening and then our nightcap.He’djoked over dinner that he’s trying to live up to whatItold the magazine about him giving up booze for me.
Afterthe heart-exploding, belly-wobbling, knee-trembling, clit-quaking kiss,Icould barely sleep.Istared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, my body refusing to stop humming.
Ofcourse,I’dfelt his lips before, but the sensation of his tongue against mine was brand new, and it replayed over and over.Asdid the image of his closed eyes in the near-dark and memories of the fresh, sweet scent of his skin, the thud of his heart under my hand, and the pressure of his hardness against my belly.Yeah,I’dfelt that before, too, but this timeIleaned into him because he’d stirred something deep inside me, not for revenge.
Hetasted so good and he felt so good, allIwanted was to glue myself to him.Tearingmy body away and walking alone into my bedroom was the hardest thingI’veever done.ButIwas a lot less successful in tearing my mind away.
Andwhirling inside my head along with all that was the dread of having to talk toAuntJenabout the whole thing.Thethought of lying to her is unbearable.
Finally, at around three o’clock,Iwas able to get my brain to remember thatI’mhere to do a job.Andthat job is to beConnor’sfake girlfriend, not his real one.Oncethe job is done,I’llbe gone and never see him again.
I’dbe lying ifIsaid there wasn’t a part of me that wondered if maybe we could have an amazing summer fling.Itwould certainly help to pull off this whole thing.Butthat’s a crazy thought.Istart the final year of my master’s in less than a month.Ican’t go back all hung up on a guy.I’vebeen there before, andIpromised myselfI’dnever do it again.Ithas to be all study, all the time.Nothingelse works for me.
Ideliberately stayed in my room this morning untilIheardConnorleave his and untilIcould hear enough voices downstairs that there was minimal risk of being alone with him.Thelast thingIwanted was to have to talk about what happened.
Butnow the air in the car hangs heavy.Astark contrast to the lightness and constant chatter of the ride here.Ihope the kiss hasn’t spoiled everything just as we were starting to get along and asI’mrealizing he might not be the jerk the gossip columns make him out to be.
Ishould probably woman up, take responsibility, and address the elephant in the car so we can acknowledge it, put it behind us, and move on and focus on the job we have to do together.
Wecome to the end of the driveway, head towardBlythewellvillage, and stop at an intersection with a pub on the corner.Andthere it is, the perfect icebreaker.
“Thatis the best pub nameI’veever seen.TheFriskyFerret.Ha.Didn’tnotice it on the way here.”
Connorchecks in both directions before pulling out onto the main street.Hekeeps his eyes on the road ahead without a flicker of a smile.
“Whenwe drove by it before,” he says, “you were preoccupied by telling meIwas an ass for letting you shoulder the blame for the magazine fuckup and for not standing up more toMaxandWalker.”
Thereisn’t a hint of humor on his face.Hemust regret last night and think it was a horrible mistake.Okay, time to rip off theBand-Aid.
Ilook straight ahead, too, at the cute village we’re passing through.There’san ornately carved clock tower at its center.
Myheart flutters. “Shouldwe...er…talk?About…you know…last night?”
“Sure.Happyto.”Iswear his fingers just tightened around the steering wheel.
“Ijust thought you must not want to,” he says. “Becauseyou’ve been avoiding me all morning.Youwere never even on the same side of a room as me until we had to leave.”
Fairpoint.WhenI’dgone down to the kitchen full of everyone exceptMaxandPolly, who’d already left,I’dbusied myself helpingMaggiewith breakfast and clearing up.Andwhen we all went for a walk down to the lake afterward,Ihung at the back and chatted withElliot.Heseems like a gentle, kind soul, quieter than the others.Butmaybe being the youngest of five means you get overrun a lot.
Ishift in my seat to look atConnor. “Ijust felt a bit awkward.Imean it was obviously all a big mis—”
Hisphone buzzes in the central console.
“Shit,” he says. “Couldyou take a look at that for me, please?I’mwaiting on a message from work.”
