Maybemy out is to say the truth in such a ludicrous way that it sounds like a joke.
 
 “Oh, you know.”Idismiss it with a wave of my hand. “Heneeded a squeaky-clean girlfriend to make him look good.So, he rented me.”
 
 Itdefinitely sounds like a joke.
 
 “Yeah, right.”Shefolds her arms. “Becausemen always look at rented women the way he looked at you when you walked in the room.”
 
 Helooked at me in away? “Andwhat way was that, exactly?”
 
 “Likeyou’re the greatest, most amazing, and most beautiful creature who ever lived.”Sheclutches her hands to her chest dramatically and stares wistfully into the middle distance. “Likesunshine and rainbows burst forth from your posterior on the regular.”
 
 Itoss the illustrated rhyming folklore book back at her asAlfred, the janitor, walks in.
 
 “Theysaid you were in here.Niceto see you,Rose.”Hegives the peak of his cap a two-fingered tap. “Happyto see you finally have someone in your life.”
 
 Thisis the impressioneveryone’s had of me the whole time?Lonelyol’ man-lessRose?
 
 “Yeah.Finally.Niceto see you,Alfred.”
 
 “There’sa guy in a big truck,” he says. “Toldme to tell you the toys are here.”
 
 “Oh, great.Thanks.”
 
 PatriciaandIfollowAlfredoutside to seeConnordirecting the truck to back up.Hisjeans andT-shirt are splattered with paint in a multitude of colors like aJacksonPollockpainting gone wrong.
 
 “Hey,Patricia,” he calls over the vehicle’s beeping. “Wheredo you want the toys?”
 
 “Dependshow many there are.”
 
 Hepoints at the truck. “Aboutthat many.”
 
 “It’sfull?”Herhands fly to her face. “Andthey’re all forus?”
 
 “Yup,” he says, gesturing for the driver to stop. “Look.”
 
 Heflings the rear doors open to reveal it packed with cardboard boxes from floor to roof.
 
 Patricia’smouth drops open. “Oh, myGod,Rose.”Sheunclasps her face and clasps her chest. “Thankyou.”
 
 “Hey, they’rehistoys,”Ipoint atConnor. “Thankhim.”
 
 “Don’tlisten to her,” he says. “Thisis moreRose’sdoing than you could ever imagine.”
 
 Hewinks at me.
 
 Winks.
 
 It’sknowing and intimate—the sharing of our secret contract in public.
 
 Andit’s hot as all hell.
 
 “Andfor that,” he continues, “we should both thank her, becauseIam already having the time of my life today.”
 
 Helooks like he means every word of it.There’sa glimmer in his eyes, a brightness in his face, and a spring in his step that makes him more lively thanI’veseen him before.
 
 Twoguys jump out of the truck’s cab.
 
 “Thesegentlemen are at your mercy,”ConnortellsPatricia. “Letthem know where you want them to put everything, and your wish shall be their command.Butfirst you might want to run over there.”