Page 99 of That Fake Feeling
Igasp asIjoin him. “It’schilly!”
“You’llget used to it.”Hepoints to a cluster of buildings up ahead. “Therestaurant’s only about half a mile away.”
There’shardly anyone out here, just a man throwing aFrisbeefor a dog, two women strolling together, and a couple of joggers.
Weslosh our way along the water’s edge, the sun heating my skin.
“Damn.”IdropConnor’shand and rummage in the bag over my shoulder. “Iforgot to put on sunscreen.Thinkit’s in here.”
“I’llcarry your shoes while you look,” he offers.
“It’sokay.Gotit.”Ihold up a yellow-and-white tube. “Wantsome?”
“Yes, please.”
Isqueeze a blob into the palm of his outstretched hand.
“Let’sstop while we do this.”Hepoints toward some boulders at the top of the beach. “Wecould sit for a minute.”
“Nope, it’s fine.I’mhungry.Ican put this on while we walk.”Ituck my flip-flops under my arm and squeeze sunscreen into my hand.
“Shit.”Agiant glob of it shoots out with a big farty noise. “That’sway too much.”Iflip the lid shut and drop the tube back into my bag.
Ibend over and wipe off some of the excess on my legs.I’llcome back to that in a minute.
Connorwas right about getting used to the water temperature.Itdoesn’t feel as cold on my feet now.It’samazing how possible it is to adjust to things that at first feel uncomfortable.
“So, only three weeks till you go back to school?” he asks, rubbing cream into the end of his nose.
Mystomach tenses.Nomatter how muchItry to allow myself to believe this might be real,Ican’t quite silence the inner voice that worries he might want to get me out of his hair sooner rather than later.
Buthe’s been so attentive and genuine since our first encounter on his stairs thatIhave to make myself give him the benefit of the doubt and suppress those fears, soIcan relax and believe in him.
“Yup.Firstweek ofSeptember.Why?”Ismooth an excessive amount of cream up my arms and over my shoulders.
Aflip-flop falls out from under my elbow and drops into the water asItry to do the other arm. “Damn.”
“Let’sjust stop, and you can do it right,” he says.
Iretrieve the shoe, shake off the water, and shove it back under my arm. “Allgood.Let’scarry on.”
Connorshields his eyes from the sun and looks at me. “Iwas asking about school becauseIjust wondered how much time we have to enjoy before you’re busier.”
Mystomach relaxes.Myinner voice needs to shut up, andIneed to learn not to listen to it as much asIalways have.Thatinner voice almost made me run away from this remarkable man splashing along beside me.
“Youreally want to enjoy the summer with me?”Iask, spreading sunscreen on my chest and neck.Jesus,I’dneed to be an elephant to have enough square footage of skin to absorb all this.
“Ofcourse.Imean,Ihave to work.”Heturns to watch a couple of surfers trying to catch a wave. “Butwe could do some fun things too.”
Theidea that he’s planning ahead and looking forward to spending time with me warms me as much as the sun.
“I’dlike that.Ido have to work too, though.Tostudy and read up for the coming year.”
“Ofcourse.”Heturns back to me with an understanding smile. “I’vealready learned you like to be ahead before you’ve even started.”
Ishove him playfully with my shoulder. “Youdon’t know me completely already.Hopefullythere’s still a lot to learn.”
Irevisit the cream daubed on my legs and massage it in as we walk, but even thenIcan’t get rid of it.
