Page 93 of That Fake Feeling
“Imeant friends you’re not related to.Likefrom college or work or something.”
“Well,Ileft college after my first year to develop the toy.Andat workI’meveryone’s boss, so…”Ishrug.
“Oh, yeah.Whatwas the toy you made that went viral and started the business?”
“Itwas really simple.Justa spelling jigsaw puzzle.Thecollege had a deal with a local school where the kids could come into the art department a couple of times a week to use the facilities.WhenIwas hanging out there, avoiding my real classes, this girl talked to me a lot.Onetime she told me her little brother was struggling to learn to spell.So,Istarted messing around, and one dayImade a small square puzzle with a picture of a dog on it and the word ‘dog’ underneath.ThenIcut it into three vertical pieces with edges like a jigsaw, one letter on each piece, that only fit together when the word was spelled right.Andthe picture helped, too, of course.”
Roseleans forward, her head tipped to one side, brow furrowed, like she couldn’t be concentrating more asIcontinue with the story.
“Anyway, the girl took it home and her little brother loved it.SoImade him some more, with increasingly harder words to challenge him.Thenher parents posted a video of him playing with them and saying they’d really turned his spelling around, and it blew up.”
“You’renot talking aboutLockingLetters, are you?”Roseasks, her eyes widening. “Youinvented that?”
Inod. “Turnedout some similar things were kicking around before, and lots of companies have jumped on the bandwagon since, but mine was the first to take off and hit it big.”
“Oh, myGod.Ihad no idea that was one of yours.Hadno clue who made it.I’veused them with a couple of kids.Theyreally help.Ieven mentioned them in a paper.”
“Ha.So, you were writing about me before you even knew me.”Ispread my arms wide. “Itwas destiny.”
Shepulls a face.Butstill manages to look pretty as all hell.
“Anyway,”Itell her. “That’showIgot stuck on the toy business track by accident, and beforeIknew it, it was my whole life.Frommorning to night.”
Accidentallysuccessful.Accidentallya billionaire.Accidentallyreally fucking frustrated.
Rosesits back and looks at me in silence for a second before speaking. “Andif you could go back and do whatever the hell you wanted, what would you do?”
“Well,Istarted the business to help my parents.Tomake sure they are always safe, cared for, and never have to worry about anything.There’snothing more important than that.So,I’ddo it all again.”
Sheshakes her head and gives me a caring, thoughtful smile. “Imeant foryou.Ifyou could have picked what you did in college just for you, what would you have studied?”
“I’dhave tried to get into art school.Butwhat use would that have been to anyone?ThenI’dhave been a broke disappointment, as opposed to a rich one.”
“Whoknows?Maybeyou’d have created things that make people happy.”
“I’vealways thought happiness is overrated.”Ipause and look at the woman who represents a possible new path for my life. “Untilnow.”
Thelook in her eye that says she gets me, warms my heart. “Maybethat’s because this is the first time you’re doing what youwantto do rather than what you think youshoulddo.”
Hell, she might even understand me better thanIunderstand myself.
“Youget the irony of that, right?”Irise from my chair and crouch before her, taking her hands in mine. “Doyou understand that’s exactly whatyoudo?Thatyou keep your nose pressed against the grindstone, working away and working away, because you think you should.”
Thisis hard to say, but she needs to hear it whether she wants to or not.That’swhat caring for someone is about, right?Tellingthem hard truths, even if they might hate you for it.
“You’veconvinced yourself the end goal will honor your mom.Butthe truth is, hiding yourself away from all forms of human relationships, family, friends, lovers, to make it happen is never what your mom would have wanted for you.”
Herface shimmers in the golden glimmer from the fire. “Andbeing miserable running your business every day is what your parents and brothers want for you?” she asks.
Probablynot.ButI’malso sure it’s the only wayIcan make them proud.
Ishake my head and look down at her hands asIstroke them. “You’veshown me more meaning in my life in the last few days thanIknew was possible to find.MeaningIknew was missing and for some godforsaken reasonIthoughtI’dfind with strangers in a bar, or at the club dancing till dawn, or in fleeting encounters, or lying in bed alone sleeping off a hangover soIcould do it all again the next day.”
Shesqueezes my hands. “Noneof those sound like a good place to look.”
“Ididn’t know how to find it.Thenone day,Icatapulted this cute girl into a bunch of tomato plants.”Ireach up and tuck her hair behind her ear. “Threeweeks later, she was sitting at my dining table, andIknew she was the woman of my dreams.”
Sheshoves my shoulder and chuckles. “Youdid not.Youwanted me to leave.”
