Page 88 of Man Vs. Woman
Gossip Time, New York City!
Live from the Big Apple,it’s the show that has its finger on the pulse of the city…
Wake up! Get the husband to work! Send the kids to school.
Because it’s time for the dynamic duo and you to pull up a chair…
It’s Gossip Time, New York City!
Tristan:Hello, hello, New York City! Welcome to Gossip Time! I’m your host this morning, Tristan Manning!
Natalie:And I’m your smitten and not single co-host Natalie Bell!
Tristan:That’s more like it. We got a great show for you folks. You’re going to love it.
Natalie:Yes you will! We have a very bad case of the exactly wrong way to give someone the D...and you won’t believe what Serena James and Colt McCoy are doing.
Tristan:That’s right. Hiram Hooskins—billionaire developer who said he’d open up a Jobs Center for “Displaced” Workers turned out to have been working with the Communist Party of China! And all they did was an add an extra “D” to Displace to pretend they were helping people who lost their jobs. But turns out, they were planning on ways to send more American jobs to China.
Natalie:Needless to say, the Condo Board was seeing red in all the wrong places.
Tristan:Thanks to Colt McCoy and Serena James, the corruption at Clarendon Tower was stopped. And our lovebirds came together for a unique solution to who’ll get the flagship retail space.
Natalie:Oooh, ooh, that’s like the best part of our show today! Tell them how neat this is, Tristan.
Tristan:Introducing...the GymSpaSium! Where you can do some laps, and then apparently get your asshole steamed without leaving the building.:
Natalie:There have been a lot of steaming assholes at Clarendon Tower, but now it comes in signature cucumber scent. Cum not included. But seriously, this merging of two elite structures in one amazing space is going to be the place for New York’s elite to do what they do best...enjoy being beautiful!
Tristan:And rich.
Natalie:Yes, that too.
Tristan:But speaking of best part of the show, that’s not even it. There is one other announcement that will blow everyone away.
Natalie:Is it about Hickleberry Hunglesnups?
Tristan:No, Natalie. It’s actually about you.
Natalie:You don’t need to tell New York City my panties are in your pocket.
Tristan:No, the camera lights are pretty bright on your dress. I think New York City already knows that you’re going commando. But this is something else.
Natalie:Oh...well...they won’t find it that interesting that the producer changed the locks to her office again. But is that my mom in the audience?
Tristan:(Getting on one knee) Yes, baby. Because I have something to ask you.
Natalie:Holy fuck. Sorry mom!
Tristan:Natalie Bell, I love you like no one else has ever loved anyone on TV. And that means more than Ross loved Rachel. Will you give me the honor of being my wife? Even after our show gets cancelled for our lack of filters?
Natalie:Filters are so 2000 and late. Yes, Tristan, I’ll marry you. I love you so much.
Tristan:(Slips ring on Natalie’s finger). You’ve made me the happiest man in the world, baby.
Natalie:We need to go to commercial, I can’t decide if my seat or my eyes are getting wetter, faster. I want to be with you forever...starting now!
Tristan:And there you have it, folks. The lady has spoken. We have some important business to attend to. And a lock to pick. So we’ll see you next time on Gossip Time New York. Till then, this is Tristan Manning signing off.
Natalie:And I’m the future Natalie Manning signing off too. Goodbye New York. Stay naughty.
:Cue commercial break:
