Page 59 of Broken Headboards
But with Austin…
It’s hard to explain, but with him it feels right. It isn’t just about the sex. There’s a connection there, and I know that he can feel it too. Maybe it’s because we’re both two ambitious persons, or maybe it’s because we’ve worked in the same industry for so long. Or maybe it’s something else entirely.
I can’t really say.
What I can say, though, is that I’ve never been so sure of that connection. When I’m with him, doesn’t really matter where, it feels as if that’s exactly the right place to be.
Twenty.
That’s how many times we’ve had sex. Probably more, now that I think of it. I haven’t exactly kept a spreadsheet, you know? Sure, I know I just told you that it really isn’t about the sex, and now here I am telling you that we’ve fucked more than twice per day.
Every day.
But I think that’s part of it, you know? When the sex is this great, it frees up the space for something else to blossom. When the connection our bodies share is this strong, it only makes sense that both our minds will follow suit.
And, yeah, the sex is amazing.
As it has always been.
I don’t think there’s a single room in both our apartments that we haven’t done it in. Just try not to think of what we’ve done in my kitchen counter if you ever drop by for lunch, alright? Just try and pretend you’re not uncomfortable, and I’ll do the same.
Five.
That’s how many times I’ve had breakfast with him. It might seem like a small thing, but it isn’t. To sleep next to him, our bodies exhausted, and then feel his warmth against my skin the moment I open my eyes...is there anything better than that?
Even though I’ve been working long hours, I can never resist it. If I have the chance to sleep with him—and then share breakfast as we see the sun rise on the horizon, then I’m taking it.
Getting this contract might be the most important thing in the world right now, but at the same time, now that I found Austin...there’s no way I can give up on everything we have.
I won’t do it. I can’t do it.
And that because...
One.
I have one certainty. Austin and I are meant to be.
It’s silly, yes, and it’s hard to describe.
But I’ll try.
See, I’ve never been the kind of woman to lose her cool, or to follow her heart, but with Austin...it’s hard not to.
Every time we’re together, I feel whole.
For the first time in my life, I don’t feel as if I have to prove anything to anyone. I can just be myself. All I need is to be around him, to feel his fingers laced on mine, his lips diving straight toward my mouth...and his body, pressed tight against mine. That’s all I need to feel whole.
But that’s what my heart says.
My mind tells a different story.
Two.
There are two opposing sides battling it out inside me right now.
There’s love, and then there’s...fear.
In the end, Austin and I are enemies on the battleground, and we’ll still have to face each other when the final day of the competition arrives. And, really, am I willing to give up on everything I’ve ever dreamed about just because my heart tells me to? I’ve never been stupid enough to think with my heart, and I’m not about to start now.
Even though I love him—because, let’s be real, that’s what this is—I can’t stop myself from being the same old me. The ambitious, ruthless Tess Armstrong that somehow made it when no one else could.
I won’t give up on all that just because of a man. But, at the same time, I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
The only thing I’m sure of, is that I’ve fallen in love.
And I’ve fallen hard.
