Page 83 of Broken Headboards
“I can’t believe this happened,” she says between shallow breaths.
“I know,” I say, not knowing what else to say because I can’t believe it either.
“This is the first time I’ve ever lost,” she wipes her tears away and her mascara-stained face looks up at me, her eyes droopy like a puppy dog.
“Me too, baby.”
She wipes her stains away aggressively and sniffles, trying to calm herself.
“You’ve never lost before?” she asks.
“No, this is my first time.” I nod with a small smile. “But you want to know something that might make you feel better?”
I reach for her hands and cradle them in mine, my thumb rubbing over her soft skin. I look between her hands and her eyes, wanting her to know how sincere I am.
“What’s that?” she asks.
“We’ve lost for the first time, but we lost together. There’s a first for everything,” I declare, lifting her folded fists up to kiss them.
She shakes her head and a quiet chuckle emerges from her lips.
“We did. We both lost,” she says, her ocean blue eyes staring at me and for a second, I feel adrift. I almost forget that I lost the competition because with her I find myself losing all sense of self. I know I’ve lost my fucking mind and I’m beginning to think I’ve lost so much more than that.
She jerks her hands out of my hold and looks away, gathering her purse. It pushes me back into my chair and I look around me, wondering if anyone else saw her abruptness or if it was just me.
“I’m sorry…” she stammers. “I can’t be here. I can’t face you.”
She stands up and my body has lost all mobility, unable to bring her back to me.
“Tess,” I start. “I love you.”
She looks at me with tears in her eyes.
“I love you too,” she says. “But love isn’t supposed to hurt, Austin. And that’s all I feel when I look at you.”
I don’t know what to say to that.
So I stay silent.
“I can’t do this,” she admits and then walks away.
