Page 17 of Courage of the Mountain
8
HEATH
“Heath? Yo, Heath, are you still there?”
“Uh, yeah,” I say hoarsely over the phone.
“Everything okay?”
No, everything definitely isn’t okay. I feel like I just made a huge mistake by answering my phone, but it’s too late now. When Hayden’s name popped up on the screen, it was an automatic response to pick it up. Between Hayden’s work schedule and my usually being tied up with my work, we don’t get many opportunities to catch up these days.
The look in Lily’s eyes when I stepped out of the kitchen tells me I made the wrong choice.
“Yeah,” I cough out. “I’m good.” I’m greeted with silence, and I wonder if he knows about me and his sister. Part of me wants to tell him so he can yell at me and then get over it like I know he will. Eventually. But it’s not me I’m worried about. Lily doesn’t have many people in her life, and I don’t want to make any decisions that would affect her relationship with her brother. That’s something for us to discuss together.
“Right,” he answers skeptically. “How’s the old stomping grounds treating you?”
“Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I rolled into town a few weeks ago. I didn’t really have anywhere else to land after retirement, but once I came back… everything just kind of fell into place.” It’s not a lie. I just don’t tell him that the things falling into place are Lily and me and our future together.
“Kinda crazy that you’re back in Hope Mountain,” he says after a beat.
“I thought I’d see more of you, but it sounds like you keep yourself pretty busy. What kind of job are you doing now?”
“Extra security detail for a music festival. It’s annoying, but easy money. The damn thing is five days long. Who can listen to music for five days straight?”
I chuckle at his response. “We used to listen to a lot of music back in the day. Headbanger music, remember? We’d take my old Jeep to the parking lot in the back of the high school and do donuts while belting out Rage Against the Machine lyrics.”
“Yeah,” Hayden replies softly. He sounds like he’s stuck in a memory. It doesn’t last long before he clears his throat. “But that was a long time ago. And our music was infinitely better than the garbage that’s been pumping through the loudspeakers over here.”
“I see you’re entering your grumpy old man era,” I tease. “Maybe you could take a break after the music festival,” I suggest. “You know, come home for a bit. We haven’t chatted in person in… God, three years? It’d be good to see you. I know Lily misses you, too.”
I wince, not sure if that was tipping my hand too much. Fuck, I don’t like being deceitful, especially to my best and oldest friend. Hayden lets out a long, labored sigh, and I can picture him sinking into the nearest chair.
“It’s… complicated,” he starts. I get the sense he uses that excuse a lot. “I can’t be the person she needs. Plus, she’s crazysmart and motivated, and she has her bookstore to worry about. She doesn’t need me dragging her down.”
I wish we were having this conversation in person. Then I could slap him for being an idiot.
“You know Lily doesn’t judge you or view you as some kind of disappointment, right? She just wants her brother around.”
“And what do you know about what my little sister wants?” he snaps back.
Well, shit. “She’s always looked up to you,” I hedge. “It’s no secret that she loves you and wants you to be proud of her.”
“I’m always proud of her,” he growls. I keep digging the hole deeper and deeper.
“I know,” I concede. “Just think about a visit soon, okay?”
“Yeah,” he grunts. “Sure.”
The conversation moves to my new house, which I’m grateful for. It’s certainly easier to talk about than the knot of emotions surrounding Lily.
After about ten more minutes, we say our goodbyes. I have a feeling that the next time we talk will be under very different circumstances. I don’t want to keep my relationship with Lily a secret. I’m not ashamed of her, and the sooner Hayden sees how serious I am, he’ll have to accept us as a couple. Right?Right?God, I hope so.
I let out a deep, cleansing breath and run a hand through my hair. I have more important things to worry about right now.
Pushing myself off the wall I was leaning against, I straighten my shirt and jeans before heading back out to the kitchen to talk to Lily. I need her to know how serious I am about us and that I won’t let Hayden get in the way of what we’re building.
Only when I step into the kitchen, Lily isn’t there. She’s not in the living room, guest rooms, bathrooms, or out on the porch. When I burst into my bedroom upstairs where she slept lastnight, I’m greeted with a freshly made bed… and no duffle bag of clothes, shoes, or toiletries in sight.
