Page 101 of Memories By the Shore
“I think it’s better if you speak with Avery.” She frowns.
Now I’m really concerned. What could have happened where Helen can’t even explain it to me?
“Okay.” I swallow hard, forcing a breath through the nerves constricting my throat.
We pass only a few rooms before we get to Avery’s. Helen and I round the corner to see her lying in the bed beneath mounds of white sheets and thin blankets. Her head is turned to the side, facing the night through an open window. She looks so vulnerable. It scares me.
“Avery?” I whisper her name. Her beautiful eyes slowly drag across the room until they land on me. They’re laced with panic. Sadness covers her usually bright face. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, Jasper.” Her body shakes, wracked by sobs. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll give you two a minute.” Helen pats me on the shoulder before exiting the small room.
Taking each step in stride, I carefully walk over to my wife. I lean over the railing and press a kiss on her forehead. “What happened?”
“I lost the baby.” Her voice cracks. Tears roll down her swollen cheeks.
What?My eyes rapidly blink, and my brain can’t process what she’s just said. “Wait. What?”
Her hand slips into mine. “I lost the baby.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, confused by her wording and what this means.
“I had a miscarriage,” she tells me, wincing like the words alone cause her immense pain.
How could that have happened?Avery is young and healthy. I’d only heard of these things happening to older women—and I’ve never known anyone in person who has experienced this. My only knowledge of when women lose a baby comes from what I’ve seen in TV shows and movies.
“Oh my god.” My head falls into my hand. “Fuck.”My mind is spinning, trying to make sense of this. What happened? What caused it? Was it something I did wrong?“So, the baby is gone?” I ask, fearful of her confirmation.
She nods, tears down her cheeks.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I gather my thoughts. “How do you know? Did something cause it?”
“The doctors don’t know why. They just said sometimes these things happen in the early stages of pregnancy.”
I blow out a heavy breath. “When did this happen?”
Avery slips her hand into mine. “I was sitting on the back patio with Helen after dinner, and suddenly, I started getting painful cramps. And not soon after, I started bleeding.” She brings our clasped hands to her chest. “Helen rushed me here.”
“Oh my god.” I can barely form words. My heart shatters.How can this be? We were just planning our life together as a family.
“I’m so sorry, Jasper,” she cries.
I shake my head vigorously. “This is not your fault.”
I don’t know much about miscarriages or the medical side of things, but I do know this wasn’t something she did. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll get through this.” My words contradict the hurt I feel.
“Are you still on your medication?” she asks cautiously, breaking the dense silence in the room.
I whip my head around. “What?”
“You heard me,” she states, but her voice is unsure. “I’m worried about you and this news.”
Frustration and hurt and anger crawl up my back.She’s the one who just experienced losing a baby, but is she worried about me?I’m her boyfriend—husband.It’s my job to take away her pain. I’m her protector.
“I’m fine,” I snap, but the walls slowly close around me.
“I’m sorry.” A few more tears fall.
