Page 102 of Memories By the Shore
I immediately regret my tone.I’m such an asshole.I can’t believe I’m getting defensive. She’s been through so much. The last thing she needs to worry about is me and my unstable emotions.
Leaning in, I thread my fingers through her hair and bring my forehead to hers. “No, I’m sorry. This is a lot for me too.”
Avery wraps her arms around my back, pulling me down onto her. “This is awful. I can’t believe it’s happening to me.” She pauses. “To us.”
I feel my breath become labored.I need to get out of here. “What can I do for you? Can I get you anything?”
“I’d love something sweet.” She gives me a weak smile.
“You got it.” I kiss her lightly on the lips. On contact, she begins to sob. I squeeze my eyes shut, unsure how to help her.
“When you leave, can you send Helen back in? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Of course,” I say, grabbing the door handle. But before I twist the knob, I turn back to my new wife. “I love you.”
She smiles, but the hurt is still there. “I love you, too, Jasper.”
I left the hospital room with every intention of returning. But after speaking with Helen, I ended up back in the parking garage instead of the cafeteria in search of Avery’s sweets. When I reach my truck, I’m in a daze. I stop right before the driver’s side door.
“What the fuck!” I scream into the dark, empty garage. Bending down with my hands planted on bent knees, I inhale a heavy breath.Fuck.My chest tightens.No baby? No family?
Suddenly, my phone rings. I quickly wipe the tears from my sore cheeks.
It’s my dad.
“Jasper? Are you alright?” His voice booms through the phone before I can say hello.
“Oh god, Dad. I don’t know,” I admit.
“I just got off the phone with Helen.” He sighs. “I’m so sorry.”
I wipe a hand down my face. “I’m still trying to get my head to process it.”
“I’m sure. This is a tough thing.” He clears his throat. “Are you at the hospital with Avery?”
“I am. Well, I was.” I rub my eyes, tears fall. “I guess I still am. I’m in the parking lot.”
“Are you still taking your meds?” he asks timidly.
I push off the side of the truck. “Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m fine.”
“Jasper, this is a traumatic event. I only want to make sure you’re in the right state of mind to support yourself and Avery.”
“I realize that, Dad,” I spit. I’m frustrated by the people around me thinking I’m not strong enough to support myself—and Avery during this time.
“I know you don’t like to talk about it, but both of you are going to need each other right now.” I hear keys wrestling in the background. “And, of course, Helen and I will be here for whatever you two need.”
“I get it,” I say, climbing into the truck. “I need to clear my head.”
I should go back in, but Avery has Helen, and at this point, I need to save myself from falling down an endless black hole.
“Okay.”
“Are you heading over here?” I ask him.
“I’m going to meet them back over at Helen’s. She wants some support in all this as well,” he says.
“I’m sure. I’m going to take a drive along the coast to clear my head.” I start the vehicle without a clear direction on where I’m going. “Then I’ll head over there.”
