Page 108 of Memories By the Shore
His face softens. He lays a friendly hand on my shoulder. “I know. He loves you too.”
“How could he just leave me like that?” I beg, craving to haveanswers when there aren’t any I’d understand.
“I’m so sorry,” Easton says. “Jasper has suffered with depression for as long as I’ve known him,” he explains. “When we were in middle school, he’d retreat into himself for no clear reason. He’d lock himself in his bedroom and sleep for days.”
I sniff. “That must have been difficult for him to understand, being so young.”
“Oh yeah. Especially for Duke. He didn’t know how to help him,” he says, glancing over at the dark, endless ocean. “At first, he thought it was because they lost his mom, but by the time we got to high school, Duke had more information.”
My heart aches for Jasper but also for myself. “I’m sorry he has had to deal with this, but what I went through—” I pause to wipe my leaky nose. “It was hard for me too.”
“And I understand that,” he reassures me. “Look, I’m not here to try to make you feel bad or justify Jasper’s actions in any way, but he is like a brother to me, and I know how much you mean to him.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, sucking in a desperate breath. “I don’t know how to be there for him. It was simple when I didn’t needanything in return, but I did.”
“I know,” he whispers.
“Does he know you’re here?” I ask.
“No.”
“Do you know where he is?”
“Yes.”
I shove my face into my hands. “I’m only eighteen. I shouldn’t have to deal with this,” I complain, unable to control my emotions.
“You’ve been through a lot too.” He empathizes in a small voice. “I get it.”
With my heart pounding on the back of my chest and panic coursing through my veins, I do the only thing I know how to do—protect myself. I love Jasper, but I’m also a realist.
I straighten my posture and sniff one more time to pull myself together. “I appreciate you coming by, Easton. Jasper is lucky to have you,” I say, then with bile creeping up my throat, I slide Jasper’s mom’s ring off my finger. “I want you to give this back to him.”
Easton’s eyes are as large as saucers. “Avery—”
I shake my head. “No, he deserves to have it back.”
His eyebrows snap together. “I can’t give this back to him. He’ll be crushed.”
I lick my lips, then rub them together. “I know. But I’m leaving for college—”
“And the summer is over,” he finishes my thought as he knew where I was going.
I hold out the ring with a shaky hand. Easton gently takes it from me with an understanding, yet solemn expression. “Time for you to move on?”
“Yes,” I admit with a heavy heart.
Easton and I share a quick, heartfelt goodbye. I hug him with everything I’ve got. Our embrace encompasses emotions of my farewell to Coconut Grove, this summer, and more importantly, Jasper.
“Goodbye, Arizona,” Easton says, his eyes swelling.
I squeeze him one more time, fighting the tears threatening to fall. I use him to release so many things. The emotionsof what I’ve gone through in such a short amount of time combined with the emotions of saying goodbye to a life I would have had.
It’s all too much.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Then
