Page 11 of Memories By the Shore
Chapter Four
Now
Avery
My back hits the door. I mold into the material like a part of the wood. Staring down at the enormous diamond on my finger, panic courses through my veins, pulsing at a rate more powerful than it had earlier. Holding every emotion in for the last three and a half hours was pure torture. I have to marry Dave, so of course, I accepted his proposal.
I don’t love Dave, so that means he won’t hurt me. If he were ever to leave, have an affair, or become distant one day, I know my heart will be forever safe inside my chest.
“I need a fucking divorce,” I whisper to myself inside the secure walls of my apartment.
It’s been eight years since Jasper and I ran off together to get married. I had just turned eighteen, and he was turning twenty that fall. We knew nothing about love. Spending a summer under the sun, between the waves. I lived in my bikini just as much as I lived for him. I was utterly captivated by him.
We promised to spend every waking moment together for the rest of our lives. We were inseparable, devoting ourselves toone another, living in pure bliss of young love. Soon, I’d learn better because who finds their soulmate when they’re that young anyway?
The summer that changed my entire life. I gave him my heart, and he shattered it into a million pieces. I’ve never given it to another since—and I never will. Unable to feel that deeply again, I’ve succumbed to the fate of marrying someone I’m not entirely in love with.
Flipping over my hand, which now carries a rock that could sink the Titanic, I stare at the black ink of the infinity symbol on my wrist. I have to say goodbye to him, especially now more than ever. A single tear falls onto the tattoo. The symbol of love that has meant just as much to me as the person I got it for.
My legs are weak and a little shaky. I slide onto the floor while unintentionally slipping the thousand-dollar designer heels off my feet. I need to speak with my three best friends. They’ll know what to do. They know all about Jasper but do not know that we’ve been married since I was eighteen.
Clawing at my purse, now feeling an urgency to release my secret, I take out my phone and text them in our group chat.
Me: Hey, babes, I’ve got some heavy stuff to discuss. Are you free to come over to my house? I know it’s late, but it’s important.
Lina: Are you okay?
Me: Yes, I’m fine. But I’ll need to talk to youthree in person.
Lina: Say no more. I’m on my way.
Piper: Thank God Jack and I are in town. I wouldn’t have wanted to be away for this. It sounds big.
Bailey: Of course. Be right over there. Piper, do you want me to pick up your preggo ass?
Lina: Haha.
Piper: Obviously. Avery, you had better have snacks. It’s time for my second dinner.
I laugh. I love them so much. My best friends. My sisters.
Me: I’ll make you some breakfast.
Bailey: Mmm breakfast is my favorite.
Me: I know it is.
Lina: I’ll just have a smoothie.
When I tell my friends what I’m about to say, they’ll need more than a smoothie and breakfast to help digest the news. Poor Piper won’t be able to have a drink either. Glancing over at my fully stocked wine fridge and then quickly at the whiskey on the counter, I mentally prepare myself for what I’m about to tell them.
Me: See you all soon.
I peel myself off the hardwood floors, wipe my eyes, and deeply breathe. I haven’t told anyone I’ve been secretly married, and I have no idea how to begin the conversation.
I walk into the kitchen, take out an old-fashioned glass, flip off the top to my favorite bourbon, and pour slightly more than I usually would. The first sip travels through my body, blanketing me with heat and comfort.
Shockingly, another tear slips out. Jasper’s emotional hold on me after all these years is infuriating. I have to let him go. I have to letusgo.
