Page 122 of Memories By the Shore
“Oh, babe.” Lina wraps a friendly arm around me. “Yes, you do.”
Bailey rests her head on my shoulder just as Piper embraces me from the front, engulfing me with love.
“We’re going to miss you,” Bailey whispers. “But your home is not here anymore.”
“It never really has been,” Lina adds quietly. Her voice barely close enough over the busy street.
Burrowing my face in Piper’s neck, I take comfort from my best friends.
They’re right. I have to follow my heart—even with all the risks.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Now
Jasper
The last couple weeks have been rough. If this were a couple of years ago, I would have sunk into a deep depressive episode. Now, I’ve learned ways of managing it.
When I returned to my house, hours after I left Avery with the signed divorce papers she pleaded for, I wasn’t surprised she was gone. Of course, I hoped she’d realized how much she loved me and how it would be a mistake for her to marry anyone else.
Avery left me for the second time, and now I’m numb to it—broken down and defeated again. She wonders why I never went after her, because I knew she wanted more. Just like now. She desires something else, and whether it’s going to make her happy in the future or not, unfortunately, we’re both caught in the crossfire.
I walked right into the house, got one last whiff of her scent before I knew I’d be gone forever, then headed back to the waves. I spent the entire day on the water.
“I can’t believe she left again.” Easton empathetically handsme a beer.
Neither can I.The past couple of weeks have been hell. I might be stronger than I was when I was nineteen, but it still cuts like a fucking knife—a gut punch that repeatedly hits whenever I’m flooded with an old memory. And now, I have more recent ones to add to the rolodex of pain.
“I know. It fucking sucks,” I admit, then take a large gulp of the cool beverage.
Riley sits back in his chair, crossing his arms against his chest. “I know that you two love each other. For something to have lasted as long as it did—”
“Especially with you not seeing each other for that many years,” Bodhi interjects.
“Exactly. It surprises me that neither one of you is fighting harder,” Riley continues.
I grip the handle on the beer mug, bringing it to my mouth again.It doesn’t even taste good. I hate beer.“I can’t convince my wife to be with me.” I wave the server over. “Can I get an old-fashioned?” I ask when she reaches the table.
Bodhi exaggeratedly rolls his eyes. “The fact is that you still refer to her as your wife—”
“Shewasuntil two weeks ago,” I spit.
“Did you honestly think she would just stay married to you forever?” Riley asks condescendingly.
Easton shakes his head in disapproval. “You fucked up, man.”
“She left me.” I defend myself. I shouldn’t need to. My friends were around for the aftermath of her leaving the first time. And now, I’m hanging on by a thread. “Twice.”
“I’m not trying to be a broken record, because we all knowyou’ve heard this before, but she needed you back then.” Easton brings up a painful truth about our past. “What she went through was scary as hell. And before you get upset at me, yes, I remember what it did to you. I also remember suggesting to you back then you should have gone after her.”
For years, I held on to a tremendous amount of regret about what happened. What my friends don’t realize is that Avery is going to do what she wants to do. And even if I had tried to go after her, would she have wanted me to? What if she would have come to resent me at some point? I couldn’t live with myself. I felt it was better for me to stay here and wait—for her to return or eventually get divorce papers.
“If you’re trying to make me feel better, you’re failing miserably.” I turn to Bodhi. “A little help?”
Bodhi sips his beer, looking in the opposite direction.
I slam my hands on the table. “Fuck you guys.”
