Page 47 of Memories By the Shore
“Well.” She pauses, searching for how to explain this to me. “We are great friends who enjoy spending time together.” She sighs. “And who also sleep together.”
I nod with a small smile, showing her my appreciation for her opening up to me. “Yeah, I figured that’s the nature of it,” I quip, climbing onto the bar stool, wanting to discuss further. “But I guess what I’m really asking is if you’re okay with it? I mean, are you satisfied with the way things are?”
Helen’s face lights up. “Absolutely.”
“Interesting,” I reply, with another question starting to form.
She continues, anticipating my curiosity for more details. “Look, I’m independent. I’ve never imagined myself with a husband and a family. I’ve loved living a simple life by myself. I have a great circle of friends and can do what I want.” She grabs her cappuccino from the other side of the counter and continues, “He gives me what I need, and I give him what he needs. It works for both of us, and I can’t imagine a more perfect situation.”
My young, almost eighteen-year-old mind attempts to make sense of this lifestyle, but one thing is clear—I am intrigued by her power and self-confidence. Helen is living her life the way she wants, and it blows my mind.
“That’s incredible,” I mutter, unable to find a better word to describe it. I’ve never thought much about my future, but I’ve assumed I’d end up living alone.
“It’s important to live your life the way you want. Lean into things that bring you joy and push away from the things that don’t,” she says. “What Duke and I are doing is unconventional, but it works for us, and that’s all that matters.”
I smile. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Aunt Helen.”
“And you never will, dear.” She winks. “How about we talk about you?”
“What about me?” I ask.
Helen flips her salt-soaked hair to one side. “I also have a good understanding of what’s going on with you and Jasper, but I want to hear it from you.”
“Yes.” My face flushes. “What would you like to know?”
She sets her cup down and crosses her arms at her chest nervously. “I’m not sure what your mom has talked to you about or what type of open communication you’ve had with her,” she begins.Oh fuck, I know where this conversation is going.
I put my hand out in front of me. “My mother and I never had those conversations, but I’m not na?ve. I know to be careful.”
“Duke brought it up the other morning, which was a total Duke thing to do, but we haven’t had the chance to speak alone about it yet.” Her face takes on a more serious expression. “You’re on the pill, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am,” I say, even though Jasper and I haven’t had sex yet. It’s not that I don’t want to. I do more than anything, but I fear what will happen afterward.
“Okay. I’m just making sure. You’re a grown woman, so I don’t want to tell you what to do,” she politely reassures me.
“I know, and I appreciate the respect.” This talk reminds me that I’m at the end of my pill pack. “Speaking of that, I do need to get a refill from the doctor.”
She nods. “Okay, I’ll call Dr. Hasbro. She’s great, and I’m sure she could get you in this week if all you need is a refill.”
“Awesome, Helen,” I say, then again glancing down at my phone, realizing I still haven’t heard from Jasper—which is unlike him. He texts me first thing in the morning every day. A pit forms inside my stomach, and I get a rush of panic. “Thanks for the chat. I’m going to head to the beach.”
“Okay, dear. Will you be around for dinner?”
“I think so. I’ll text you.”
“Have fun!” I hear her call out behind me as I shut the door.
I pull up to the beach, anxious to see Jasper. I called him twice on my drive over here, but he didn’t answer. I try not to get too worried. I’m sure he’s out on the water without his phone.
By the time I get to our usual meeting spot, he’s nowhere to be found. I scan the handful of surfers riding the waves but don’t seemy surfer. Worry stings the tips of my ears.Where could he be? Does he not want to see me? Maybe I got the days mixed up, and we’re not supposed to meet today.
The sun shines bright along the horizon. I tent my eyes, continuing to scour the beach for him. Still no Jasper. I slip my phone out one last time to try him.
No answer.
I’m not the type of girlfriend who worries when she doesn’t hear from her boyfriend, but the uneasiness in my stomach sendsan alarm that something’s off. I take one more good look along the beach, then head back toward my car with only one place to go—his house.
If he’s not home, I’ll try his dad’s shop. Confusion plagues me until I arrive at his small bungalow.I’m sure everything is fine. He’s not breaking up with me,I think while I sprint up the steps to his front door. Anxiously, I knock a few times on his door, but there’s no answer.Goddammit.I whisper-yell under my breath. I step back and glance at his house, unsure of what I’m looking for.His room is toward the back, and I wonder if he’s sick or needs help.
