Page 86 of Memories By the Shore
I laugh. “Me too. I didn’t think I’d use it, but felt I should pack it, knowing I was traveling out here.”
Jasper sits in the warm sand, facing the water. I rest my board next to his and take the space next to him.
“Was Helen happy to see you?” He squints from the bright sun, then digs into his bag to grab a pair of sunglasses.
“She was.” I pull my legs up to my chest. “I didn’t realize how much I missed her until I saw her again.”
“I’m sure,” he replies, glancing at me and then turning away. “It’s been hard on her since my dad died.”
My head falls, and guilt bowls over me. I should have been there for her more.
Jasper senses my regret and hooks an arm around my shoulder, nudging me into him. “She has a large group of friends out here and a lot of support.”
A tear rolls down my cheek and onto his bare, tanned skin. “I know. But it doesn’t make the guilt any less.”
“But you’re here now,” he adds, insinuating I should make time for her while in town. He’s right.
“I know,” I admit, swiping a few more tears from my sticky cheek. “We chatted outside on her patio the other night. It was nice.”
“I’m sure it meant a lot to her.”
“I think it did,” I tell him. “She was sad when I left.” Jasper tightens his hold around me. “I should see what she’s doing this evening. Maybe we could have dinner together.”
Jasper tips his head toward my forehead and then whispers, “That’s a good idea, Avery. I’m sure she’d clear her schedule for you.”
“Helen is a social butterfly, though,” I play. I blow out a heavy breath. “You know I’m not good with this stuff.”
“At what?”
“Feelings.” I blink away. “Connection.”
“You mean human emotions?” he quips affectionately.
I lightly slap his chest. “That’s not funny. But yes.”
“We’re all products of our upbringing. It’s not your fault.” He lovingly reminds me with a cheeky grin. “My dad wasn’t either. If that makes you feel better.”
Jasper always makes the world seem sensible to me. Losing Duke was hard on Jasper too. He mentioned how he felt when we were at the old beach house, but I knew he was holding back.
“I meant it when I said I’m sorry for not being there for you either,” I tell him, resting my palm on his leg. He places his large hand on mine, wrapping his fingers around me. I flip over and intertwine my fingers with his.
“You don’t need to apologize. We’re only able to do what we’re capable of,” he insists.And there it is—the first time I’ve heard him put into perspective what he could not do and what ultimately solidified my decision to leave that grim August night. Jasper lacked the ability to support me. It’s something he was incapable of doing.
Like any response to trauma, my brain automatically blocks it out, replacing the sad memories with positive ones.
“What are you doing later tonight?” I ask, attempting to change the subject.
He smiles with those straight, white teeth and the same dimple I’ve had my tongue all over. “Whatever you’re doing.”
I lightly kiss the corner of his mouth and continue with small kisses along the seam of his lips. His chest rumbles with laughter, and simultaneously, his opposite arm swings around me, pulling me on top of him. We both fall into the sand.
“You did really well today out on the water.” His hands run up and down both my legs while they straddle him. “What do you say I give you a little reward?”
I stare down into his eyes and watch them darken. I can tell what he has in mind. It isn’t just a prize for me. “Absolutely.”
Behind Jasper’s broad smile are all the dirty things he wants to do to me. And behind mine is that same euphoric lust that overcame me all those years ago.
I jump off him, sprinting through the sand and toward hishouse. He’s hot on my heels, trudging through the sand behind me.
