Page 129 of Ashes
I glanced at her and tried my best to keep my emotions at bay. “Please, Sienna. Just sign the papers.”
“No.”
My brows snapped together. “What do you mean no?”
“It means no.”
“Sienna—”
“No, I’m not signing the papers.”
My brows drew in tighter as I grew frustrated. Not at her because she didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one putting us in this situation.
But why couldn’t she see that this was for the best? Why was she making this harder than it already was?
“Why?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I’m not signing.”
I took a shuddering breath and stood from my seat. “Please just sign the papers,” I said, my low voice barely above a whisper.
No longer able to face her, I headed for the door to leave the room, but she grabbed my arm and I turned to face her.
“Is it because I said I loved you?”
Of course it wasn’t. It was becauseIloved her that I was doing this.
A tear rolled down her face when I didn’t answer. Shelet go of my arm, bringing her hand up to her cheek and furiously wiping it away.
Fuck.
I wanted to reach for her and comfort her, but it would defeat the purpose of pushing her away. So instead, I fisted my hands at my sides to stop myself from doing so and said, “No, that has nothing to do with it.”
“Then what is it? Either it’s because you don’t care about me or maybe you just don’t love me. That must be it,” she said, huffing out a sardonic laugh.
Tears were now freely running down her cheeks and she kept wiping them away angrily with the back of her hand.
I stepped closer until we were toe to toe. She lifted her chin defiantly.
I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose before staring down at her. “You think I don’t care? You think that’s why I married you? Because I don’t care?” I started and before I could stop myself, I confessed the only thing I told myself I wouldn’t.
I took a deep breath and grabbed her head with both hands, bending my head closer to hers. “Of course I fucking do,” I said, my voice coming out harsher than I intended. “I love you. I am in love with you. You’re the love of my fucking life, butthis”—I let go of her and gestured between us—“was never your choice. It’sbecauseI love you that I can’t be selfish. I can’t lose you again, andloving me,beingwith me will do that. So please, baby, just sign the damn papers.”
I kissed her forehead and prepared myself to leave her when she spoke again.
“No,” she whispered.
That damn fucking word.
“Sienna, wh?—”
She wiped another stray tear. “No,” she said sternly, squaring her shoulders. “You’ve said what you wanted to say and it’s my turn to speak now. When I’m done, then you can talk again. But now, let me because I don’t want to speak over you or interrupt your nonsense about signing divorce papers.”
She took a shaky breath and stepped closer.
“My whole life, I’ve done what other people expected of me, whattheywanted me to do. My life has been dictated by everyone elsebutme. But now, now that I finally realized that I deserve to be selfish and put myself first instead of everyone else, I get to make my own decisions. To decide what makesmehappy. Do whatever the hellIchoose.”
She lifted her hand and rested it against my cheek. My eyes closed on their own as she traced my cheekbone with her thumb. “And what I choose is you.”
