Page 83 of Burdens
This doesn’t mean he’s leaving you. He just needs time.
He’s not abandoning you. He just needs time.
He’s not…
No matter how much I was trying to convince myself otherwise, nothing guaranteed that he wouldn’t. With my eyes still closed, I threw my head back against the wall behind me and brought my hands down to grip my thighs, hoping it might help ground me.
Yeah, that isn’t working either.
I could feel the harsh sound of my breathing, but the constant echo of my voice inside my head drowned it.
I kept trying to breathe until a familiar touch graced both sides of my face and when I opened my eyes, I was met with the most beautiful shade of green.
1 Uncle.
CHAPTER 23
AMALIA (PRESENT)
The momentI saw Jamal walk out of the house with a quiet anger emanating from him, I knew I needed to rush to Noah’s side. I could feel that he needed me, but I wasn’t prepared for what I’d walked into when I stepped inside.
The door barely closed behind me when the sound of a ragged gasping breath filled the silence in the house, echoing off the walls.
My stomach dropped. “Noah?” I barely got out when my eyes landed on his figure seated in the living room.
He was panting heavily, sweat gleaming off his skin as his head rested against the tiled wall of the living room, his hands clutching the fabric of his pants where his thighs were.
His eyes were closed and his chest kept heaving up and down in shallow breathing as I hurried to his side, my heart racing. I was no stranger to witnessing a panic attack—Ángel had them often after our mother left—but I’d never seen Noah like this.
I tentatively moved to cradle his face between my hands as I sat on the wooden table in front of him to level myself with him. When he didn’t flinch at my touch, I kept my hands on him, holding the sides of his face more firmly.
“Baby, I’m right here,” I said, but he didn’t seem to hear me. So I repeated myself. “Noah, you’re okay. You’re not alone. I’m right here with you.”
I repeated my last words over and over again, hoping my reassurances would help ground him. He eventually peeled his eyes open, his pupils dilated and unfocused.
“I… I c-c-can’t breathe,” he whispered through chattering teeth.
“Noah,” I called a little harsher this time. “Look at me,” I ordered him, hoping to pull him away from the panic he was tethering from, and he did, his brows furrowing lightly at my tone.
“You can breathe.” When uncertainty wrestled in his eyes, I slowed my breathing down, intending for him to catch on and follow my lead. My thumbs brushed over his cheekbones. “Youcanbreathe.”
His eyes were still dilated, but this time, when he locked his glistening brown eyes to mine, he took me in, almost as if he wasn’t sure I was real.
Then, slowly, ever so slowly, Noah’s breathing began to steady, his frantic gasp giving away to slower, deeper inhales that matched both of my own and the rhythm with which I was still brushing the pad of my finger against his skin.
“That’s it, pretty boy,” I said, infusing flirtation into my tone in the hopes that it would help slightly relax him. “You’re okay,” I said again, brushing my lips over his in a soft kiss.
His eyes fluttered closed at the contact before he opened them again. “I’m okay.” He sighed after a shuddering breath with a nod.
“Yes, you’re okay,” I confirmed, giving him a small smile. “I’m right here with you and you’re okay.”
Noah’s trembling gradually subsided and the harsh grasp he had on the fabric of his pants relaxed, a semblance ofcalm settling over his features. Eventually, Noah finally relaxed beneath my touch and brought his hands up to cup my own.
He brought his lips to mine in a featherlight kiss before he pulled away, his hands dropping down to rest on his upper thighs.
I moved my hands away from his face, brushing back a loose strand that had fallen on his forehead before placing my palms on his knees.
“Safe to say Jamal wasn’t delighted with the news,” I said lightheartedly,
