Page 86 of Burdens
As we ate, Nassim briefed Jamal and his friends, taking them through every step so that they’d be ready for tomorrow.
At one point, Kai and Valentina each had brought out a rugged laptop, typing away with every new information Nassim provided them.
Jamal mostly remained quiet, absorbing each detail and only interjecting when he needed clarifications or additional information on an aspect of the plan.
The hours passed in a blur, and after coordinating everything necessary and another food break, Nassim and Daniela left as the sun was setting with plans to meet tomorrow evening in Bab Al Mansour in another safe house he’d secured a few days ago.
Shortly after they’d left, Noah retreated outside while I moved to the kitchen to do the dishes. Kai and Valentina were still typing away on their computers and talking in hushed tones while Jamal just sat next to them, his eyes far off like he was lost in another world.
I was rinsing the last plate when he abruptly stood and moved in my direction. Kai looked at him, worried, and I was about to ask if he needed anything when he breezed past me and opened the back door, closing it behind him as he stepped into the courtyard.
Through the small window that looked out into the back, I watched as Noah slowly turned around, his expression morphing when his eyes landed on Jamal.
Please let this be good.
1 Beef tajine with prunes (Moroccan dish).
CHAPTER 24
NOAH (PRESENT)
It’d been a day.
When Nassim showed up, I’d pushed this morning’s conversation to the back of my mind and focused on the task at hand because I was good at that. Ignoring how I felt, putting on a façade, and keep going.
But now that the day was almost over, everything I’d buried was resurfacing.
I was standing outside in the courtyard, hoping the air would help clear my mind, but the quiet lull was just making the thoughts in my head spiral.
I closed my eyes and gripped the edge of the chair in front of me, trying to steady my breathing and calm my racing thoughts when a voice behind me cut through the air.
“Hey,” he said tentatively.
I glanced over my shoulder to find Jamal lingering a few feet away from me, his hands tucked in his trousers. His expression was guarded, but beneath it all, I could see a subtle hint of vulnerability.
The realization weighed heavily on my conscience. I hated that I’d played a part in putting that expression on his face. Myjob had always been to protect him, to shield him from anything bad, but it felt like I’d failed him and had done the opposite.
A heavy silence stretched between us, uncertainty dancing in his gaze. Until he broke it. “Can we talk?”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that.
“Oh… yeah. Sure. Let’s talk,” I said awkwardly, stumbling backward as I gestured toward the table. “Want to sit?”
“Standing is fine,” he replied quietly.
“Right, okay.” I nodded, bringing a hand up and rubbing the back of my neck.
I’d raised this kid, and we’d had serious conversations before, but I’d never felt more nervous than I did in this moment.
Him wanting to talk should be a positive thing,right? Then why did it feel like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for the other shoe to drop?
Breathe, Noah. Stop jumping to the worst conclusion.
“So about earlier…” he trailed off, looking away.
A silent beat passed and I wanted to fill it, to make him talk to me, but I fought the urge because Jamal had never initiated conversation, so I had to give him the space to do so.
Anything else would be selfish of me and I’d been selfish for long enough.
