Page 17 of Maybe This Time
One I’d been waiting for since I first stepped foot into BU.
I was one step closer to opening my dream plant shop, but beneath the excitement, tonight also carried a quiet dread I hadn’t been able to shake ever since Ezra told me he was moving to France. In less than twenty-four hours, my best friend—and the boy I’d secretly been in love with ever since I knew what it meant to love someone—would be embarking on a once-in-a-lifetime mentorship opportunity.
While I stayed behind.
I was happy for him. Truly. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel like a part of me would be leaving with him. We’d been inseparable for the last seventeen years and now he’d be 3,437 miles away instead of right across the street.
Ezra’s mom and my parents had decided to celebrate together, and despite my best efforts, I couldn’t find it in me to fake being happy a second longer. Not when my chest felt like it was slowly being wrung out, breath by breath.
So after spending what felt like hours thanking everyone for showing up and indulging my mother with so many pictures and FaceTime calls with our family back in Morocco until my cheeks ached, I’d retreated to the only place where I knew I’d be able to take a breath.
“There you are.”
My body jolted upright, the unexpected smooth voice startling me. I’d been lying on the flat roof just outside of my bedroom window, eyes trained on stars clustered around the full moon.
Clutching my chest, I turned toward the window and found Ezra perched against the ledge of my window, his broad frame filling the space with familiar ease. Moonlight spilled across his face as his gaze landed on me.
“You scared the shit out of me, Ezra,” I managed to say over my frantic heartbeat, which wasn’t just the result of him sneaking up on me.
“I’m sorry,” he said with a chuckle. “To be fair, Ididcall your name a few times, but you weren’t answering.”
Guess I’d been too lost in my thoughts to hear him.
Ezra climbed through the window and came to sit beside me. He drew his knees up and rested his forearms across them. My eyes caught on how his white T-shirt, the one he’d changed into after the ceremony, tugged and bunched up. On how his muscles flexed from the movement and how his patchwork tattoos seemed to ripple across his skin.
It even exposed a sliver of his back under the hem of his shirt, his olive complexion practically begging to be touched.
Ezra James had this ridiculous ability to make the most mundane things look hot. He hadn’t done anything and I was drooling at the sight. I’d lost count of how many times I’d woken up, almost panting, after I’d dreamed of his musclesstraining for a much different reason—dreams that had him hovering above me.
God, I was pathetic and a walking fucking cliché.
The girl next door, hopelessly in love with a boy she could never have.
I knew Ezra loved me, in his own way, and sometimes, there were tiny, fleeting moments where it felt like there might be more. But at least I still had enough sense to reel myself back before I drowned in wishful, foolish thinking.
“Shouldn’t you be downstairs celebrating with everyone?” I asked, desperate to distract my thoughts from the dangerous territory they’d ventured to.
“I’d rather be with you.” The stupid smile I loved so much framed his lips and my heart gave a traitorous skip.
Like I said… pathetic.
“Always the charmer,”I muttered, bumping my shoulder into his to hide the blush I could feel spreading across my cheeks.
“Just with you,” he replied smoothly like it was the most natural reply in the world.
There went my heart again.
How was a girl supposed tonothear wedding bells and plan her future with comebacks like that?
I rolled my eyes, but the smile that bloomed on my lips was genuine. Probably the first one from this entire evening.
“Needed to get away before your mom called another one of your aunts to gush how proud she is that her youngest daughter just graduated college?” he teased, changing the subject.
That was another thing I loved about Ezra. I never needed to explain myself. He’d always been able to read exactly what was on my mind.
“Yeah,” I admitted. “I just needed some time alone.”
His expression softened, the teasing slipping away. “Do you want me to leave?” he asked gently, nodding toward the open window behind him.
