Page 15 of Wishing for Christmas
She narrowed her eyes. A Christmas wish? She looked at the picture of her grandparents, young and carefree. Clara thought about what that first Christmas must have been like for them—meeting when he had just returned from a deployment during the Vietnam War.
Was a magical Christmas wish what had brought them together? Is that why everything had been so perfectly simple for them?
A Christmas wish will soon come true.Was it possible? Clara thought about the magical Christmas she had been expecting to have with Brent, and then about the long and complicated year that was in store for them if they stayed together. All she really wanted was to skip right over it entirely.
She felt ridiculous for wanting something so impossible, so badly. Still, Clara knew she needed to try this—for herself, for Brent, and for their relationship. She had nothing to lose, anyway. If a magical wish worked for her grandparents, then maybe it could work for her and Brent.
Clara closed the pocket watch with determined focus. She wrapped her palm around it and squeezed it tightly. She pressed her lips together and took a slow breath in through her nose.In that instant, Clara made the decision to believe in Christmas magic with her entire heart. Without thinking any further, before she could chicken out, she closed her eyes and made a wish for the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world at that moment. Brent was worth it.
She squeezed her eyes tighter and held the ornament in one hand, her fingers curled around it.I wish I could skip right past the next 365 days.
The ornament became hot in her hand, which Clara found equally thrilling and terrifying. Even so, she couldn’t bring herself to loosen her grip on it. A strange euphoria enveloped her. Her body felt an intense tingle all over, both warm and sedating, as if she’d swallowed a shot of brandy.
She cautiously opened one eye to find the tree lights pulsing with a brilliance she had never seen before. She opened both eyes. The splendor of the ordeal was over before she knew it.
The next second, the ornament went cold. The tree lights were still again. Clara furrowed her brow, wondering if she had imagined the whole thing. She stared at the ornament in her hand. It now appeared insignificant.
Clara felt ridiculous, suddenly realizing how outlandish the idea of a magical ornament was. She looked over at Grams, still asleep. She let out a sigh of relief that her grandmother hadn’t witnessed any of it.
She dropped the ornament back in the box, hopped up, and wiped her hands on her thighs. She backed away from the box carefully with her hands up in defense. Of what, Clara wasn’t sure—perhaps her own sanity. She took one last sideways look at the box, then turned around and headed back to the sofa—to Grams, her cocoa, her blanket, and her snow-filled window. For tonight, anyway, it was all she needed.
Clara thought about what she wouldn’t give to actually have a magical ornament to fix all her problems. She shook her head and laughed inwardly at the absurdity of the idea.
It was a nice fantasy. But Clara knew the truth. The next morning, she would be forced to face reality.
CHAPTER EIGHT
CLARA
Clara woke up with a start. Had she missed it completely?
She looked over at the alarm clock beside her and lay her head back down with relief. No, she still had a couple of hours before she needed to be on base. The faint light of Sunday morning was beginning to come in through her window.
She had barely slept. After leaving Gram’s house she had come home, changed straight into her pajamas, and fallen into bed. She had only wanted the long day—and its many complications—to be over.
Sleep cruelly eluded her, though, as thoughts of Brent and his deployment kept her up most of the night. She had tossed and turned for hours, replaying the things he’d said in her mind. Clara was still trying to grasp the fact that he wanted them to try to make the relationship work, even with the distance of a long deployment.
The crazy thing was that she wanted that too. She just had her doubts about whether it was even possible. The simple truth was that she didn’t like the idea of it at all. They really hadn’t been dating long enough to endure something like this.
Still, she had to show up for him today. When he’d asked her to come to the base to see him off, she’d been flattered. Shehadn’t realized she was so important to him already. How could she possibly say no to that? No, Clara could never let him leave without being there to show him that she cared about him—for whatever it was worth. And to Brent, it seemed it was worth a lot.
Lying on her back, she placed her hands over her chest. Her heart grew warm at the idea of them staying together. The romantic side of her was ready to run to him with a long embrace, ready to fully dive into a long-distance relationship. But her practical side was second-guessing the entire situation. Maybe showing up wasn’t such a good idea. Perhaps it was a sure way to inflict more pain upon herself. How was she supposed to watch him fly away from her for a whole year? Was she supposed to simply go home afterward—lonely and broken-hearted—just in time for Christmas?
Even though she hadn’t spent one with Brent yet, a Christmas without him sounded miserable. Ayearwithout him sounded unbearable. Maybe it would all be easier if she didn’t go. Maybe watching him leave would be another cruel twist of the knife.
Clara blew out a breath. She lifted her head from the pillow again and crawled out of bed. What was done was done already. She had agreed to go, so she would keep her word. Besides, it was all too overwhelming when she let herself think about it too much. She needed to get herself out of the quicksand of her thoughts for a moment. Grams was right. Clara needed to stop thinking about what shewantedand instead accept the fact that she was in this position, whether she liked it or not. She needed to get ready and get herself to the base. She would think about the rest later.
She showered and dried her hair, then applied her makeup quickly. She wanted to give herself plenty of time to find Brent before his plane left. Clara had no idea how any of this worked or what she was expected to do. She did know, however, thatshe could not be late. Military precision wasn’t merely an expression.
Clara realized she had no idea what to wear to the base. She pulled out her phone and searched:
what to wear for a military
She stopped. What was this situation called, anyway? A farewell? A deployment departure? An unjustified ripping apart of two perfectly happy people? She gave up and threw her phone on the bed. This would be the last time her boyfriend would see her for a year, possibly forever. She wanted to make an impression, one he couldn’t easily forget. On the other hand, what did it matter at this point? This time next year, he probably wouldn’t even remember who she was.
Clara sifted through the closet half-heartedly, finally landing on a gray wrap dress with a pair of tan leather heels. It seemed an appropriate enough outfit to match the lackluster mood of the occasion. Her hands trembled as she threw her wavy hair up into a neat ponytail, then added some earrings and a necklace. She hoped her light makeup was enough to hide the dark circles that had already formed under her eyes. She pulled on her favorite ivory dress coat with gold buttons down the front to add a little touch of elegance to an otherwise muted outfit. She gave a nod of approval to her reflection in the full-length mirror.
Then she stopped, caught off guard by a change in her appearance she hadn’t noticed until now. She tilted her head to inspect herself. She looked different in a way she couldn’t exactly identify. Was it her hair? Her skin? She seemed more mature somehow. It was amazing what one poor night of sleep could do to someone’s appearance.
