Page 10 of Wishing for Christmas
She pulled her hand away, not ready to accept this news. “You mean we don’t even get to spend Christmas together?”
“Not this Christmas.” He bowed his head.
Clara looked at him, her eyes wide in disbelief. She still wasn’t entirely sure she understood what was going on. Was this how deployments worked? Was this really happening, or was it all some kind of cruel joke? No, Brent could never be so mean.Looking at him, she could tell this was hurting him just as much as it was her.
“I’m really sorry, Clara,” he repeated. “But it’s my job. It’s part of military life.”
Clara pressed her tongue firmly against the inside of her cheek, desperate to prevent the tears that were beginning to form. She wanted to let them flow, to let them pour out. She wanted to sob into her hands over the injustice of it all.
But she knew she couldn’t. She wasn’t entitled to emotionally fall apart over this. She wasn’t even entitled to feel inconvenienced by it, really. She was only a girlfriend—a new one at that. They hadn’t been together that long, and he was right—itwashis job. She hadn’t earned the right to fight back against this.
Still, as much as she was beginning to understand the reality of the situation, her personal feelings on the matter were completely out of her control. Entitled to it or not, her heart had just been shattered into a million pieces.
Brent continued with a sympathetic look on his face. “The mission comes first, above our own plans sometimes. Military families all over the country face these challenges constantly.”
She just nodded. Clara didn’t care about the mission. She didn’t care about all the other families facing canceled holiday plans either. All she cared about was Brent and what this would mean for their relationship—for their future. They’d never even had the chance to see where it would go. So much for her magical Christmas. She wasn’t going to get Christmas at all with him, and most likely, no future either.
All of it, derailed by a dumb deployment.
“What’s the purpose of it anyway?” The words left her mouth before she could stop them. She felt her face redden. The truth was, she was embarrassed she didn’t know more about what he did. Sure, years ago troops were constantly deployed to theMiddle East. But wasn’t all that over? Wasn’t his job now to refuel other airplanes? A flying gas station was what he’d always called it.
“It’s a combat deployment, Clara. That’s all I can tell you. I can’t tell you where I’m going or even what conflict we’re involved in. All I can say is that where the fighter jets and bombers go, my plane needs to go too. It’s how they’re able to have enough fuel to complete their missions.”
She gave a slow nod and let out a long breath. She glanced at him through her prickling eyes. He no longer seemed nervous. In fact, he now had his confident demeanor back as he sat there quietly, watching her with his chin resting in his hands. How could he be so calm? Especially while she was trying her hardest to appear emotionally under control, a task that was becoming more difficult with each passing second. Her bright future with Brent—gone before it even got started.
Clara lowered her head, unable to hold back the tears any longer. She covered her face with her hands and broke down into them. She couldn’t help it. The whole situation was awful.
She thought this relationship was going to be different. She thought Brent had the potential to be the one. Even though they hadn’t been together long, she had connected with him in ways that made her confident it could actually go somewhere. The feelings she had for him were real, no matter how new this relationship was. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing him so soon after meeting him—and to something like this? Something so outside of either of their control?
This was different from any breakup she’d had with Matthew. This seemed more hopeless. More unjust. More difficult than anything she’d ever endured before. Why did relationships always have to be so complicated?
Clara raised her head and wiped the mascara from around her eyes with a napkin. She looked at him and gave a resigned shrug. “Well, I guess there’s nothing we can do about it then.”
He gently took her hand in his. His warm smile was brightened by the soft candlelight.This time, she let him hold it.
“Well, that’s not entirely true,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
Brent leaned forward and looked at her under a brow of sincerity. “Clara, it’s going to be hard—really hard.” His voice was firm, but his thumb rubbed her hand with a tender touch.
She looked down at their intertwined hands, refusing to meet his gaze.
“A year is an incredibly long time,” he added.
“Yeah, I know,” she scoffed. She couldn’t help the tone. No matter how she looked at it, this wasn’t fair. She was entitled to her sour attitude, if nothing else.
“But I am committed to putting in the effort to make our relationship work, even with the time and distance apart.”
Clara looked up at him through her tears. His face softened, and he gave her a warm, close-mouthed smile.
“What?” She sniffed. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that we can make our relationship work, even with this deployment.”
“You mean, you want to stay together? You want to have a long-distance relationship—for a year?”
“Yes.”
