Page 39 of Wishing for Christmas
“I’ve been letting myself get overwhelmed. I can’t seem to think straight lately.” She waved her hands over her face as if to reset. “I’m fine now, really.”
Brent studied her expression. He gazed into her eyes, those familiar pools of shimmering blue, and remembered the woman he’d met a year ago. She looked the same tonight as she had then. Her cheeks still glowed. Her smile could still give his stomach a kick of excitement. The difference now was that he was also completely in love with her. He only hated that he’d caused her so much hardship with this deployment. He wished this process could be easier for her.
He stood up from his chair, unsure how to proceed. “Would you like to dance then?” he tried, preparing himself for rejection.
Clara smiled back at him and nodded.
He took her by the hand and led her to the dance floor. Brent held his breath as they moved through the crowd. He felt as if every move he made with her tonight was like walking over eggshells. One wrong step or topic of conversation, and she’d be upset again—or worse, heading for the door.
He hated how fragile their relationship seemed to be, especially after watching how strong and resilient it had become over the past year. He wondered what had happened to all that fortitude they’d gained through the deployment. Where was all that determination to make things work between them? Was it ever really there, or had he imagined it entirely?
Brent stopped before they approached the dance floor. His eyes widened in surprise. The band was playing “Blue Christmas.” He let out a hearty laugh.
“What?” she asked.
“Listen.” He watched her, waiting for her to recognize the tune.
“What is it?”
“They’re playing our song.”
Clara strained to hear. “Oh, yeah. My ringtone.” She gave him a casual shrug, waiting for him to lead her in a dance.
Brent felt his shoulders fall. He was disappointed it didn’t get a stronger reaction from her, but he brushed it off as the two began a slow sway on the dance floor. What were the odds of this song playing at that exact moment? Perhaps this was fate stepping in to give them a nudge, a nudge they desperately needed. Maybe it was a serendipitous reminder of what they’d been through together. Maybe it was simply a coincidence. Either way, Brent knew he couldn’t have planned this moment any better if he’d tried.
He sang along to the lyrics in his head. The ones about snowflakes falling and memories calling. He smiled. Blue memories, indeed. The truth was those memories now made him anything but blue. They made him happy. Brent only feared that Clara didn’t feel the same. There was something about rehashing the past year that distressed her. At times, it seemed as if it was torture for her to think about. If that was the case, what did that mean for their future? They would face more separations throughout their marriage. Now, he found himself wondering if she’d be willing to sign on for a lifetime of that.
Brent held Clara close as they danced. He could smell that faint hint of cinnamon in her hair again, a scent that was now becoming familiar and comforting. This song was no coincidence—how could it be? In fact, Clara had probably requested it from the band while she’d been off by herself. The idea of that alone gave his heart a shockwave of warmth. While listening totheirsong playing, while holding Clara in his arms,Brent knew he hadn’t misinterpreted their relationship at all. Itwasstrong. How could it not be, after all it had endured? It didn’t matter how they did in some silly trivia game. Nothing mattered at all right now except the two of them being together. He felt a return of confidence that everything was going to work out. It had to. He had put too much work into this relationship to see it fail.
He gazed down at her and studied her eyes. The soft candlelight reflected off her face. He leaned in closer and whispered in her ear, “I don’t want you to worry about that game. Let’s move forward.”
Clara looked up at him and nodded. “I agree.”
He pulled her in closer and rested his cheek against the top of her head. The song mesmerized him. He shed the extra breath he’d been holding, and his steady heartbeat pulsed in time with the music. His focus slowly moved to the corners of her mouth. They were turned up in a relaxed smile. She looked at him from underneath her lashes as he lowered his face closer to hers.
Clara looked into his eyes and raised her chin.
Brent felt as if he was under a spell, unable to resist the pull. He took her face between his hands and pressed his mouth against hers.
She leaned into his body, her lips melting into his.
He closed his eyes as a wave of euphoria pulsed through him. If a kiss could talk, this one was worth a thousand words. It calmed him in ways he hadn’t realized he needed. It brought refreshment to a heart that had been through so much over the past year. It bubbled up a spring of excitement that had been sitting just below the surface since he’d been home.
He felt weightless. His entire body tingled as the feeling of Clara’s sweet breath hung against his mouth. He didn’t think about the mistakes he’d made. He didn’t worry about what would happen next. The present moment was all that mattered.Brent knew everything he needed to: They were finally together again, they had their whole future ahead of them, and they were undoubtedly in love.
He was slow to pull away. His mouth fell open slightly in disbelief as if it was the first kiss they’d ever had. He stroked her arm and felt tiny goosebumps run along its length. Her face was flushed with color.
They held each other’s gaze. They reallywerein love. He knew she felt it too. The moment between them was a renewed hope for everything he trusted to be true.
“Time for another game!” Janie’s perky voice suddenly drawled through the microphone, stopping the music.
Brent pulled back in a startle, the effervescence of the moment over.
“We need some volunteers,” Janie said.
He raised a teasing eyebrow at Clara.
She looked back at him with warning.
