Page 42 of Wishing for Christmas
Lily looked at her, urging her to go on.
“We kissed.” Clara let out a deep sigh while gazing into the distance as she thought again about the moment. “It was incredible. No, it was magical.” She felt a shiver run down her back. She had no doubt in her mind that magic was what she had felt on the dance floor that night. It had been the first time since Brent’s return that she had simply enjoyed being with him without the worry of saying something dumb. She’d been replaying it in her mind all week. The way he held her, the feel of his cheek against hers. And that kiss. It was all she’d wanted when she made that wish: to be on the other side of the deployment and back in Brent’s arms.
Lily laughed and got up from the table. “Well, I guess after a year apart, it would feel like first kisses all over again. Can I get you some sugar for that?”
“No thanks, I’m good.” She took a long inhale of her tea, which was steaming with the scent of spiced oranges.
“Hey, Clar, about what you said the other day about time traveling . . .”
Clara flinched. Of course her best friend wouldn’t forget her making a comment like that.
“What exactly were you talking about?”
Clara let out a nervous laugh. “Oh, that? You were right. I was being philosophical about life. Like, I guess it felt like the year flew by—or something like that. I was just overthinking everything, and I wasn’t making sense.”
Lily came closer. She bent down and studied Clara’s face. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Perfect.” Clara broke eye contact. “I’m more interested in knowing how you are now that you’re married.”
Lily retreated. She seemed unconvinced, but was willing to drop the subject. “Now that I’m married? It’s been six months already.”
“Of course,” Clara said. “I mean, well, just getting a status update.”
“Okay. So far so good.” She gave Clara a wink. “You’ll find out what it’s like soon enough, though.”
Clara inwardly rolled her eyes at the reminder. She took a long sip of her tea. The heat burned her chest. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be married—she did. It was just that Lily and Kyle’s relationship was so solid before they had made that commitment to each other. She thought back to her outlook on relationships from the other day. She had wanted so badly to rush through all the time involved in a long relationship. To get straight to the good stuff—ending up together. It seemed so enticing at the time. Now, what she wouldn’t give to have the option to slow things down even a little—to simply have the time to breathe a bit, to really figure out if Brent was right for her.
Clara narrowed her eyes as she watched her best friend move around the kitchen. Lily looked different. Her hair was curlier and shorter than it had been the other day—well, last year. She wore a flirty animal-print skirt with a bright-pink blouse; the gym-clothes phase clearly behind her already. Beside the new diamond on her left hand that Clara had seen the other day stood a shiny solid gold band. Lily was married. She had missed her best friend’s wedding.
“Hey, Lil, can I look at the photos from your wedding?”
“Sure.” She pointed. “The album’s over there in the bookcase.”
Clara set down her mug and moved to the living room. She found a black leather photo album embossed with Lily and Kyle’s initials in silver. She sat on the sofa and flipped through the pages. There, smiling back at her, was Lily, looking gorgeous in her one-of-a-kind wedding dress. There were pictures of her walking down the aisle toward Kyle. She saw them waltzing for their first dance and feeding each other cake. It was all so beautiful.
There—next to Lily in almost every photo—was Clara. It was the proof she needed that the year she skipped had actually happened. It was now painfully clear to her that she had, in fact, been present. Like the age-old question about a tree falling in the woods, she wondered: If a whole year passes, but there’s no memory of it—did it really even happen? According to the pictures in front of her, the answer was yes.
In the photos Clara wore a bright-purple dress she had never seen before, clearly a Lily-chosen bridesmaid dress. Her hair was up in her perfectly styled ponytail, her blonde waves falling down her back. She looked happy in the pictures—dancing, laughing, having a blast with the other guests. On the pages in front of her sat a summary of one perfect moment in time. All her closest friends together, celebrating an occasion that would never come again.
She bit her lower lip. A sadness washed over her as she stared down at the pages of everything she had missed. She wished more than anything that she had been there. Clara pinched the bridge of her nose to stop a tear that was beginning to form. She continued to flip.
Past the pictures of the wedding, she came upon a few additional shots that showed the events leading up to the big day. A bachelorette party at a local winery, the bridal shower at the Darlington, and the rehearsal dinner at Buddy’s Tavern—complete with extravagant martinis and all.
Her attention narrowed in on one picture in particular. It was a photo of Lily in a makeshift veil standing beside Clara and her other bridesmaids. There, off to the side of the frame, was Grams. They were all standing in front of the Darlington, huge smiles on their faces. It appeared to be sometime in the spring, and they all wore floral sundresses. Grams had a peaceful smile on her face, her gaze directed at Clara. A longing stirred inside Clara’s heart. She had missed that season with her grandmother, with everyone she loved.
She rubbed her hands over her face. A heaviness set deep into her chest. She had missed it—all of it. Well, she had been there, obviously. She even had the pictures to prove it. She simply didn’t have any recollection of it. Wasn’t that the same as not having been there at all?
How precious can a moment in life be if you don’t have the memory of it to take with you?
CHAPTER TWENTY
CLARA
Christmas lights perfectly outlined the single-level brick house. The cul-de-sac was filled with cars, and every window of the modest home glowed with activity.
Clara stood beside Brent on his parents’ front porch. Her hands trembled as she held the cake box against her stomach. Meeting a boyfriend’s parents was nerve-racking enough. Meeting her fiancé’s parents for the first time in this nonsensical situation instantly topped the list of things Clara wished she could skip right over.
Her thoughts jumped back to the first time she’d met Matthew’s parents. They’d had a brunch planned at the hotel for their visit to town. Clara had arranged everything for an elegant meal, excited to meet the parents of the man she’d become so close to. But Matthew had canceled at the last minute for a meeting that “couldn’t wait.” He’d insisted the brunch go on without him, so she’d had the pleasure of spending a wildly uncomfortable afternoon with his parents—alone. That incident had always bothered her and was just one of the many flags she seemed to overlook when it came to Matthew. Maybe he hadn’t been as dependable over the years as she’d thought.
