Page 60 of Wishing for Christmas
It was true. Clara was grateful for the many opportunities Matthew had given her over the years. She realized, though, that that wasn’t the same thing as being in love. She was truly beginning to understand love in a completely different way. It was what she felt for Brent. She closed her eyes and thought of him. She glowed with excitement. Yes, she was, without a doubt, falling in love with Brent.
Her eyes popped wide open. She needed to tell Brent everything. She needed to explain to him why, up until now, she hadn’t been able to understand how he could have been so sure about their relationship. She couldn’t understand why he’d been ready to make a lifelong commitment to her already. She couldn’t understand how his feelings were so much stronger than hers. But now, she understood perfectly—because she now understood what real love was.
It wasn’t necessarily easy, that was for sure. Sometimes, it didn’t show up the way you had planned. Sometimes, it required more patience and understanding than you thought you were capable of. At times, it was just plain hard. But it wasalwaysworth it.
The realization took her by surprise as she finally understood the reality of her feelings. It hadn’t been Christmas magic that she’d needed to fall in love. No magic was needed for her to realize her feelings for Brent.
It hadn’t mattered whether she figured it out over Christmas, over a deployment, or over a cup of coffee. Clara knew without a doubt that she was actually in love with Brent.
“Goodbye, Matthew,” she said one last time.
He looked to the floor and shook his head, seeming to wallow in the rejection. After a moment, he looked up and nodded in understanding. They both stood, and he reached toward her for a final hug. Clara let him hold her for a moment. She smiled and let all her breath out of her lungs with explosive relief. A heaviness left her that she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying around for many years. It felt so good to finally let go of that part of her life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
BRENT
The cold wind whipped Brent in the face as he made his way to the Darlington through the heavy snow. He’d been forced to park his truck back at Clara’s house and walk over since the city streets were covered in a thick layer of ice. He wasn’t going to let her do this alone, not when he could be there to support her. She had beenhisconstant source of support over the past year. He still didn’t know if she understood how important that had been—and still was—to him. All he knew was that it was time he tried to repay the favor.
As he made the difficult trek over to the Darlington, Brent thought back to the first time he had met Clara there. She’d seemed so confident at her job, so knowledgeable about the hotel. He knew she could manage this. He knew she had the good judgment and sharp leadership skills to be successful. Still, he felt bad that she had to leave so abruptly.
Clara had been trying to tell him something important for weeks. He knew they still needed to have a long talk about their future. Right now, though, Brent had no plan for what he would do once he got to the hotel. He didn’t know if there was anything he reallycoulddo to help her. He wasn’t even sure she’d want his help. All he knew was that he wanted to be there. He realized hecouldn’t always be present physically. But when he could, he was going to show up for her.
Brent finally arrived at the Darlington, out of breath with exhaustion and chilled to the bone. He entered through the lobby doors, hit with a welcome wave of warmth. He immediately spotted Clara sitting by the fire in the corner of the lobby.
His muscles tightened. She was talking tohim—Matthew. A deep jealousy came over Brent as he glared at the two of them through narrowed eyes. He knew Matthew had been her boss for years. He knew they used to date. He knew they had a long history together. What he didn’t know was why he was there with her now.
Brent moved closer to them, standing out of view behind the Christmas tree. He watched as Clara talked to Matthew, a peaceful smile on her face. He leaned closer, trying to make out what she was saying, but Christmas music was coming from the speaker right beside his ear. Brent frowned. He moved around the backside of the tree to get a better viewing position.
Clara reached for Matthew’s hand and held it, telling him how much she appreciated everything he’d done for her. Brent’s heart plummeted to the floor. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach.
He watched Matthew take her in his arms for a long embrace. Struck with a startling realization, Brent felt his world fall apart.
Clara was still in love with Matthew. It all made sense now. That explained why she had been so distant since he’d returned home. It explained why all the memories from the past year had been so much more important to him than they were to her. It certainly explained why she hadn’t accepted his proposal with more enthusiasm. Of course. She had probably been growing closer to Matthew the entire time he had been away.
With Brent deployed, she’d probably felt sorry for him and didn’t want to break his heart while he was overseas. Then, he’d proposed so publicly she couldn’t have possibly turned him down in front of everyone. No wonder she’d been acting so strange about everything.
This whole time, Brent thought they were just going through an adjustment period after some time apart. Now, he knew the hard truth. She was in love with Matthew, not him. It made sense. What Clara wanted was someone who could actually be there for her every day.
And perhaps it was what she really deserved. Brent felt as if time had stopped completely. All the color drained from his face. He nodded his head in sudden understanding.
That must have been what she’d been trying to tell him—but couldn’t. Each time she’d tried, it was obvious she had been expecting a difficult conversation. Clara had tried to tell him for weeks—they just kept getting interrupted. He felt like an idiot, having dragged on this relationship that she’d been trying to get out of since he’d been back.
He thought about the past year and what it had meant to him. He thought they’d been growing so close as a couple. He thought they had truly fallen in love in such a special way. How could he have been so blind? How could he have been so stupid?
His heart sank. He shook his head. After all the work he had put into their relationship, Brent finally realized that when it came to love, his plans didn’t matter. No matter what he did or how hard he worked, the heart was more powerful than anything within his control.
Heartbroken, Brent slowly backed out of the Darlington Hotel.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CLARA
It was Christmas Eve and already afternoon by the time Clara managed to get on the road. Her stomach was filled with butterflies as she was finally able to make her way over to Brent’s house. She’d been forced to wait for hours while the roads were being cleared from yesterday’s storm. She had tried to call him all morning, but he hadn’t answered his phone, his battery likely dead from the power outage.
As soon as the roads opened, Clara couldn’t wait to get going—to get to Brent. She arrived at his house just as the bright afternoon sun lit up the perfectly unclouded sky. After yesterday’s storm, the clarity of the blue sky seemed like a metaphor for what was going on in her mind. Clara took a slow, deep breath and savored the feel of the frosty air filling her lungs. Her feelings for Brent, now clear to her, brought her a happiness she had never quite experienced before. She was overcome with a surprising exhilaration over her newly discovered emotions.
Clara smiled, appreciating the significance of the day. She felt that same excited anticipation that the day before Christmas had always brought her ever since she was a child. Full of possibilities, Christmas Eve had always served as an excitingprequel to a day she knew would bring her joy, gifts, and hope for the new year. The waiting was brutal at times, but the excitement of the next day was assured. It described exactly what she was feeling at the moment. She was on the verge of something wonderful—a fresh start and a bright future with Brent.
