Page 10 of Knot Their Boo
“What about you, Sable? I can tell by your scent that you're not mated, but is anyone courting you?” he asks gently, almost like he's scared of the answer.
“No. There's no one,” I say just as gently, giggling when he lets out a huge sigh.
“Good. So tell me what I've missed over the last six years. I want to know everything about you, Pretty Girl.” Because his presence is so comforting, it’s easy to relax into his side, the guy driving the tractor winks at Rhian as we cuddle together against a large hay bale, and the ride starts.
“Well, once I left town, I went to college. Graduated with a degree in business management. Oddly enough, I’m a candlemaker now, as you know,” I chuckle, resting my head on his shoulder, looking up at the stars.
“I do,” he nods, running his fingers up and down my bare skin, his arm draped over my shoulder, making me feel protected and safe. “How’d you figure out you liked candle making?”
“Scents,” I shrug one shoulder. “I was missing the familiar scents of home one day while walking through a craft store. I was lonely and sad, and when I walked into the wax melting aisle, I just started grabbing stuff.” I laugh, shaking my head at the memory. “My first few attempts were kind of horrendous, but when I made my first warm, almost buttery spiced candle, I cried.” Tears fill my eyes as I remember the moment like it was yesterday.
“Because it smelled like your Grams,” Rhian murmurs, and I nod, a knot in my throat stealing my words.
“I made eight, and burned them every night after school for months,” I admit. “I think a part of me knew I’d be back here one day, taking care of the shop for Grams. Business management wasn’t a degree I was passionate about, but it’s made adjusting to owning the shop a lot easier.”
“I know what you mean. About the family business, I mean. I never expected to be working the farm once I graduated, but when Nick asked me to stay, I didn’t even consider saying no.” Rhian glances out into the field of Halloween pumpkins lit up by decorative colored lights. It’s a very charming sight.
“I’m sorry about your dad,” I murmur, even though I know he had a complicated relationship with the old bastard. Personally, I hated the man, but he’s not my dad.
“I’m not. He was a mean old drunk, and in the end that's exactly what killed him. I never looked at him as a father. He was always the angry asshole I had to avoid my whole life to avoidtriggering him,” Rhian says. No matter how happy we are now, some wounds never fully heal right.
“It sucks that he was such an asshole. I’ve never even known who my father is, but that sounds better than being scared in your own home at all times,” I say, glancing up at him. His scent is tinged with pain and sadness. My instincts do what they’re made for, shifting my scent into something more soothing as sweet pumpkin surrounds us, trying to mend his broken pieces.
“It wasn’t always bad. Not for me. Nick had it so much worse, but I had Nick. Sometimes I wonder what life was like for him those first ten years he was alone. I can’t even imagine trying to survive our dad without Nick.” Rhian lets out a heavy sigh, shaking his head, and smiles down at me. “Enough about me. I said I wanted to hear about your life since I was a shithead and disappeared, so tell me.”
“Okay,” I smile, letting out a breathy laugh. “I don’t know what to tell you about. I mean, I’m not sure what you want to know. Do you want me to talk about the little things?” I ask, frowning.
“Everything, Sable. Anything you think of, I want to know.”
“I guess I just feel like there isn’t much to tell. I left because I thought I had to. At the time, it felt like I needed it more than I ever needed anything. School was fine, but I missed Plum, and you and everyone I left behind. Grams especially. I called her every day. For six years straight.” I laugh, burying my face against his chest to hide my emotions as they swell once again.
“I’m sure you’re happy to have those memories of her now.”
“I am. I catch myself reaching for my phone sometimes though. I’d call her to tell her every little update about my day. Sometimes I think she knew she was going to pass the last few months before her death,” I admit. “She never said anything about not feeling well. I don’t know if I should be relieved thatshe passed in her sleep, or angry that I didn’t get to say one last goodbye.”
“Did you call her that day?”
“I did. I just didn’t know it was the last time I’d ever hear her voice, or see her face. She’d only just figured out how to work FaceTime.” I sniff, my chest aching, but I smile at the memory of her excitement when the video chat connected.
“How would knowing that was your last conversation have changed it?” Rhian asks gently, and I have to think about his question for a long moment as the tractor pulls us through a patch of corn stalks.
“I don’t know.” I swallow thickly, remembering that last call and replaying it in my head like I have been for two months. “I just would have made sure she knew how much I really fucking loved her. How much I’ll miss her every single day for the rest of my life. How sad I am that she’s not going to meet my future pack, or children.” I have to swallow again, my throat tight and aching as I fight back a sob.
“I think she knew all those things already, Sable. Some things don’t need to be said for them to be known.” Rhian murmurs, holding me more tightly and as if it were only yesterday that we were close, we easily slip back into those old roles. He’s so easy to talk to, and the comfort he brings me is something I knew I missed, but didn’t realize how badly until now.
“Maybe you're right.” I pull away from him so I can look at him, turning in his hold until we’re face to face. “So I guess all you missed was how much I hated the city, and how badly I missed this town, despite all the reasons I had for leaving, nowhere else ever felt like home.”
“Maybe you needed to leave so you’d know what makes you happy,” he says.
“But you didn’t?” I ask, searching his face for something. A sign that this is more, that this moment is as real for him as it is for me. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking.
“I knew what I wanted a long time ago, it just took some time for me to accept that I deserve happiness too.” His confession is so vulnerable, and I’m so grateful he’s opening up to me that I can’t resist hugging him.
“You definitely deserve happiness, Rhian. We all do.”
We spend the rest of the hay ride talking about lighter topics and when that ends, we meet Plum for pie. Nick is suspiciously missing, but Benson is there.
“Sable!” He greets, pulling me in for a hug. He’s a fucking bear, and nearly crushes me, overwhelming my senses with his pine needle scent. He smells like a Christmas tree. “Man, it’s good to see you. Rhian’s been talking about you for weeks.” Benson smirks when his older brother glares.
