Page 28 of Back to You
“Good girl,” he murmurs.
My stomach flips. I lift my head, meeting his eyes, and shit, I can’t look away.
“What am I going to do?” I whisper.
“I’m gonna help you,” Sebastian says.
I jerk back slightly, blinking. “Oh no, that’s not neces?—”
“That’s a great idea!” Anna cuts in, grinning.
I shoot her a what the hell look, then glance at Sebastian again. There’s something in his expression that makes me pause. Something real.
“I really want to help, Mariana.” His voice is softer now, insistent. His gaze locks onto mine, steady and sure.
My throat tightens. I stare at him for a beat, then let out a resigned sigh. “…Okay.”
After I agreed to let Seb help with the bakery upgrades, Anna gave me a quick hug and said she had to head out. Seb explained that I apparently need a new fire suppression system—the current system is severely outdated, according to him. Great. Just another thing to add to the never-ending list of expenses.
He also said he knows an HVAC guy who can fix my air conditioner, which is a lifesaver because I cannot decorate cakes in this heat. Frosting would turn into a puddle faster than you can say cupcake, and no one is going to be lining up for something that looks like it barely survived a meltdown, no matter how much they love me or this place.
Seb works three-day shifts at the firehouse, and he helps Analyse with Maya, but he told me he’ll be at the shop on hisdays off. He even said he could ask the guys to pitch in with Maya. I told him he didn’t have to do this.
I know he already has a lot on his plate, and the last thing I want is to take time away from him and Maya. But he shut that down fast. Said it wouldn’t be a problem, and he wants to help. According to him, Andres and Mateo love spending time with Maya anyway, so they’ll be stoked to have more time with her. That made me smile. The way all these guys jumped in to help Analyse, the way they made sure Maya never felt the absence of the man who was supposed to be there for her—it’s beautiful.
I don’t know all the details about what happened with Maya’s dad, but I know enough. Enough to know that he’s a complete dickhead for walking out on his baby girl and the woman who carried her. At least they have Seb. And Andres. And Mateo. Seb and Analyse’s parents help out when they can, too.
It really does take a village. The thought lingers longer than I expect, settling deep in my chest. Seb never hesitates when it comes to taking care of people. It’s just…who he is.
And maybe that’s why it doesn’t surprise me when, as my brain spirals into panic over the cost of all these upgrades, Seb cuts it off at the root. Don’t worry about the labor. He and the guys will do all of it for free. He can get the parts for next to nothing.
When I get home, the house is dark. Quiet. I glance at the clock. 7:00 p.m. It amazes me how much can change in a year.
Just last year, I was in Seattle, married, trying to convince myself I was happy. And now…now I’m a widow, back in my hometown, coming home to an empty house every night.
And on top of it all, my mom is sick. Every part of my life looks different than it did a year ago, and I don’t know if I’m mourning what I lost or trying to make peace with what I never really had.
Andrew wasn’t a good man. My brain knows that. He did horrific things to me…things I still can’t say out loud. He put me through so much emotional and physical trauma, and I’m better now. I know I am; I’m better without him. I survived him.
But damn sometimes, I feel…lonely.
Sometimes, I want to come home and have someone waiting for me. A partner. A home filled with the sounds of laughter, little feet pattering across the floor, but that’s not my life. It may never be my life, and I need to accept that.
I move into the kitchen, pour myself a glass of red wine, and throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave. I take a long sip, tilting my head back, fingers pressing into the tension in my neck. Exhaustion seeps into my bones. I pop a few handfuls of popcorn into my mouth, but the appeal fades fast. What I really need is a hot bath.
One of my favorite parts of this house is the deep, clawfoot bathtub. It’s so deep that when I sink in, the water covers both my knees and my breasts, wrapping me in heat.
I start the water, as hot as my body can handle, and light candles around the bathroom. The flickering glow casts a soft, golden light over the walls, shadows dancing with each slow breath of air.
Undressing, I twist my hair up and clip it. The second my toes dip into the water, a deep sigh escapes me. It’s luxurious.
The heat rushes over my skin, a slow burn that unwinds the tension in my body, inch by inch. I sink in deeper, letting the water cover me, leaning back until my head rests against the cool edge of the tub. Steam curls around me. The citrus scent fromthe candles mingles with it, clinging to my skin, filling my lungs with something warm, something soft.
I'm struggling to find peace within my chaotic mind, endlessly cycling through my relentless to-do list and my obsessive need for perfection. I feel like a tightly wound spring ready to snap.
Closing my eyes, I attempt to calm myself, my hand gently wrapping around my neck, savoring the warmth of my skin as my fingers glide slowly down to my breasts. I begin to circle the nipple on my left breast with a feather-light touch, lingering there, while my other hand cradles my right breast.
My thoughts drift, and suddenly, images of Seb flood my mind—his sculpted biceps, that irresistible dimple when he smiles, and those deep, captivating brown eyes.
