Page 33 of Back to You
"Ah." I clear my throat, busying myself by cutting into my chilaquiles even though I suddenly have no appetite. "We’re just friends."
"Uh-huh." She says with a smirk, dragging out the sound—equal parts teasing and unconvinced.
"He’s been a lifesaver," I continue, forcing my voice to stay casual. "I don’t know how I would have gotten through these last few months without his help. I didn’t realize how much work the place needed."
"That bad, huh?"
"I wouldn’t say bad…but yeah, it definitely needs some TLC. It was sitting there unattended for so long, and it’s been a pillar of our community for even longer than that. It was bound to have some wear and tear."
"Totally." Analyse nods, reaching for another bite of huevos rancheros. "I still can’t believe you bought the place. I honestly didn’t think you’d ever move back here."
"Me neither," I admit, setting my fork down. "I wasn’t sure I ever would. But a lot happened in Seattle… I just needed to get away."
Her expression softens as she places a hand on my arm. "Whatdidhappen while you were there?" Her voice is gentle, hesitant. "I mean, I heard about your husband passing away…"
The air around us stills. My breath catches, the knot in my stomach tightening. Other than Anna, I haven’t really spoken about everything that happened with Andrew. The choices Imade, the ones he made, the way it all unraveled, the way I unraveled.
Analyse notices the hesitation in my face immediately and rushes to shake her head. "You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to." Her fingers squeeze mine briefly. "I just want you to know that you can talk to me. I know that after you and Seb broke up, we sort of stopped speaking too, and I always hated that. I know you’re older than me, but I always considered you not just a friend, but family—a sister."
Emotion prickles in my chest, warming something that I hadn’t realized was still cold. "I considered you a friend too, Lyse." I squeeze her hand in return, offering a small, grateful smile. "Seattle was… complicated. I was lonely in a big city, missing my family and friends, that's when Andrew came along. Sometimes, I wonder if I really loved him, or if I was just in love with the idea of not being alone anymore."
I let out a slow breath, shaking my head. "He really wanted to get married. And after a lot of convincing, I said yes. I was so caught up—I thought I was madly in love. But deep down, I knew if I said no, I’d be alone again, and that scared me more than anything. So I said yes, I wish I hadn’t—but he met me at my loneliest, and I let myself believe in the illusion. It was all a facade, though." The words sit heavy between us.
Analyse’s fingers tighten around mine for a beat before she lets go. "You don’t have to say more," she says softly. "You tell me when you’re ready."
"Thank you." I exhale, shoulders sagging with relief. "And thank you for bringing me here today."
"Of course, Mari. Not like I showed up at your house and forced you to come with me or anything," She says with a smirk, leaning back and crossing her arms. "Seb was right—I desperately need friends. I love Maya so much; she’s my wholelife. I want to be everything for her, especially because she doesn’t have her father in her life."
Her smile falters just slightly, her fingers toying with the rim of her coffee mug. "But sometimes," she continues, "I need to do a little bit for me too, you know? It’s like I give everything I have to everyone else, and I never leave anything for me. It’s a bit exhausting."
Her tone is light, almost like she’s joking, but the look in her eyes is too honest for that. "Does that make me a bad person?"
I shake my head. "Not even a little. It makes you human. You don’t have to feel guilty, Lyse." I shake my head. "Everyone knows how much you love Maya. You’re a great mom. And guess what? You can be both a great mom and a mom who needs a break every now and then. It’s okay to need a breather, and not just to run errands."
She huffs out a laugh.
"You need to take care of yourself too," I tell her. "Do things that you actually enjoy. I know that Seba helps a lot, but I’m here too. I’m happy to help as much as I can."
"Really?" Analyse raises a brow. "You offering babysitting duties?"
I grin. "Absolutely. Maya and I will have the best girls’ nights."
Analyse lets out a dramatic sigh. "I might take you up on that."
"Good." I lift my mimosa. "To new brunch traditions?"
"To new brunch traditions." She clinks her glass against mine, a real, easy smile on her face.
After brunch, I’m stuffed with nachos and guacamole, pleasantly buzzed from one too many mimosas, and absolutely ready to curl up in my bed for a long, guilt-free nap.
The sun is high, the heat thick and sticky against my skin as I stroll down the street, my head light, my steps loose. I’m mid-yawn, already imagining the cool relief of my air-conditioned room, when my phone rings.
I fumble for it, nearly dropping it in my tipsy state before pressing it to my ear. “Hello?” I answer quickly, not checking the caller ID.
A familiar voice greets me, amused and knowing. “Mariana.”
I blink against the sun, recognizing him instantly. “Seba? What’s up?” I slur, my words just the slightest bit off.
