Page 79 of Back to You
But I knew better, Sebastian wouldn’t be Sebastian if he just walked away. He wasn’t going to just give up…not without a fight.
A second knock came—harder, more urgent. Then his voice, low, rough, frayed around the edges. "Mariana."
I swallowed, my nails digging into my palms.
"I know you’re in there."
I squeezed my eyes shut. Sebastian…I knew that voice, the edge of exhaustion beneath the frustration, the ache beneath the anger.
I knew the way his breath hitched when he was trying to hold himself together, the quiet strain in his voice when he was this close to breaking. And fuck, I hated myself, because I was the one hurting him.
But I knew it was better this way, or at least that’s what I told myself over and over, like a prayer, like a promise…But it still didn’t feel true.
Silence stretched thick and heavy between us. For a split second, I thought maybe he’d given up, that he had left.
One more knock, this time, softer. Then…"Please."
The word shattered something inside me, I hated the way my body responded to it. The way my chest ached, the way my hands trembled, the way my entire being fought against what I was about to do.
I could feel it in my bones, this was the moment. The moment that I knew I wouldn’t be able to take back. The moment that would change everything.
Yet, I pushed off the couch, my legs moving before my mind could stop them. I reached for the handle, opened the door, and looked at the love of my life—the man I was about to destroy.
CHAPTER 36
Mariana
Sebastian’s eyes met mine, and I felt the impact like a punch to the gut; he looked wrecked and exhausted. For a moment, we just stood there, staring at each other.
Then, voice hoarse, he broke the silence. "Are you going to let me in?"
I hesitated, not because I didn’t want to, of course I wanted to…but because if I let him inside, this would become real, and I wasn’t ready to face the reality of what was about to happen.
I wasn’t ready to face the weight of what was about to happen, the words we couldn’t take back, the breaking that felt inevitable. But I stepped aside anyway.
Sebastian entered, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he was close enough to touch, but I didn’t reach for him, and neither did he.
The door clicked shut behind us, the sound sharp, final, sealing us inside this moment we couldn’t escape, and I knew then, that whatever happened next, we wouldn’t walk out of this the same.
Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. "I can’t do this anymore, Mariana."
I swallowed. "Do what?"
His head snapped toward me, his jaw tightening. "Don’t do that."
"Do what?" I repeated, even though I already knew.
"Pretend." His voice cracked. "Pretend that you don’t know exactly what I’m talking about. Pretend that you haven’t been shutting me out, pulling away, convincing yourself that you don’t want this anymore."
My chest tightened, but I forced myself to meet his eyes. "I’m not pretending, Sebastian."
The words landed between us like a slap, a muscle ticked in his jaw. "So that’s it?" he asked. "You’re just… done?"
I opened my mouth, but no words came out.
Sebastian let out a bitter, hollow laugh, shaking his head. "Fuck, Mariana. I knew you were scared, but I didn’t think you’d run again."
"I’m not running."
